Single Digits and First Trip to L & D

It's hard to believe but all of a sudden, we are into the single digit countdown and there are only 9 days left until my due date! I had a scare this weekend that made me think that I might not make it this far, but everything turned out okay. Last week I wasn't sleeping particularly well in general but was getting just enough sleep to function and stay healthy. My mom had come down with what seemed to be a cold. She didn't have a fever so we figured it couldn't be a flu virus. Then on Thursday night I had a really bad night where I got maybe 4 hours of sleep and was exhausted all day long. That night (Friday), I awoke around 1 am shivering and shaking with chills, body aches, and the general feeling that I had a fever. I slept restlessly for a few more hours, feeling alternately hot and cold, throwing the blankets on and off, sweating and then shivering. By 4am, I'd had enough and was worried that my temperature was getting too high, so I forced myself to get out of bed to locate a thermometer and some Tylenol.

Sure enough, I had a fever of 101.4, so I popped two Tylenol and slept a few more restless, sweaty hours. When I awoke on Saturday morning, I was a feeling a bit better but my hair was disgusting and matted with sweat so I decided to take a shower (even though normally I try to avoid washing my hair when I'm actively sick since I feel like having a wet head and getting water in my ears and sinuses often exacerbate my illness) and in retrospect I'm so glad I did.

I started to feel worse as the morning went on, and when my mom returned from her doctor's appointment armed with Ceftin for a possible sinus infection and learned about my fever, she called her pediatrician friend who said to call Labor & Delivery and that I might have to be induced early if it turned out I had the swine flu. We called L & D and they told us to head on over, so we did, although at first the front staff who are responsible for screening all visitors for possible flu symptoms didn't want to let us in the building when we said we were sick. When we told them L & D was expecting us, they called to confirm it and finally led us up there (with masks of course). I was admitted to an isolation room, but my mom was not allowed to stay with me. This was around noon.

A nurse hooked me up to the usual monitors for the non-stress test, one to measure baby's heart rate (slightly elevated), and the other to measure my contractions and baby's movements. I also had an IV line placed to administer fluids and a pulse oximeter to measure my heart rate (high) and blood oxygen level (98% on room air). Anyway, this post is starting to get too long already, so I'll try to just focus on the highlights (or lowlights) of the next 24 hours, which is how long I ended up staying there.

Originally they had said I would be discharged later on Saturday, but then it turned out they wanted me to stay the night for observation. A nurse did a nasal swab to test for H1N1, which ended up having to be repeated later by a doctor (unpleasant but I've had worse things stuffed up my nose). The monitor showed I was having some contractions, although I couldn't feel them at all, so at one point an MFM did an internal exam (the first of my pregnancy) to determine if there was any progress. I'm not dilated at all but my cervix has effaced down to about 0.5 cm from 3.5 cm at my 20 week ultrasound, so that's good.

Everyone kept saying that Ziggy looked great--he had nice heart rate fluctuations and was moving well. They did comment that his heart rate was a little high but explained that my higher heart rate from being sick was affecting his. Overnight both of our heart rates did come down. They started me on Tamiflu but failed to mention that nausea is one of the side effects. I also had some heartburn, for which I was given Maalox, but I don't know if that was from the Tamiflu or from lying down for most of the day. It didn't help that I was never brought a proper meal (I hadn't eaten much before heading to the hospital because I hadn't had much of an appetite in the morning). One nurse (I had six total during my 24 hour stay) told me she had ordered me a dinner. When I told her I was a vegetarian, she rushed off to change the order. She then came back and brought me a vegetarian sandwich (American cheese with vegetables) from the staff kitchen to tide me over until my dinner arrived. That was the last I saw of her. When the next nurse took over, she told me there was no dinner service but that my family could bring me food. This was news to me as I'd been told I couldn't have any visitors. So I called AC, who had flown in that afternoon for a brief 24 hour visit and had been hanging out with friends up until then, to ask if he could bring some toiletries over and also pick up a smoothie for me (I'd been craving one all day). So I finally got to see him (he had to don a mask and gown like the nurses and doctors whenever they entered the room) at around 9 pm, which is when visiting hours are officially over, so he couldn't stay long.

After a rough night, during which I didn't get much sleep due to a number of factors (feeling either too cold or too hot, having my vitals taken, being hooked up to all those monitors, which would beep when they got unhooked or my IV fluid bag ran low, having to lie on my left side for so long that my hip ached horribly, having to unhook myself from all the monitors and take my IV pole with me every time I needed to use the restroom, and in general just not feeling comfortable in the hospital bed). I think I maybe got 4-5 hours of restless, interrupted sleep. In the morning they actually brought me breakfast, although it was pretty bad and not what I would have ordered (a muffin and hash browns as my main course?! The oatmeal, banana, fruit cup and milk were fine, but what about some protein?!). The nurse had me fill out lunch and dinner menus for Sunday just in case I had to stay longer. I was taken to radiology for two chest x-rays (they shielded my abdomen), which the pulmonologist on call reviewed. Apparently they looked ok, and since I hadn't had a fever since I entered the hospital, the baby was doing well, and in general, they didn't seem to think I had the swine flu, they decided to discharge me around 1 pm. They did say that I should schedule an appointment with the pulmonary department or call L & D again if I took a turn for the worse.

I ended up getting to eat the lunch I'd ordered (pasta with squash, peas, and mushrooms) because AC insisted that they let me take it to go when they wouldn't let me eat it in my room (they had to prepare it for the next patient) or out in the hall because I had to wear my mask at all times in the hospital. So they put everything on a paper plate and I ended up eating it while sitting on a bench outside the hospital! By the way, the results from the nasal swab didn't get back before I was discharged, but they told me they would only call if it was positive, and since I haven't heard back yet, I'm assuming no news is good news. I was still prescribed Tamiflu for an additional 5 days just in case. Yesterday morning I took it after eating a relatively small breakfast of cereal, and it made me nauseous the entire morning. When I finally ate a mid-morning snack, I ended up throwing it up, so my streak of not vomiting during this pregnancy has finally been broken. My new plan is to eat a substantial meal before taking the pill.

All in all, I'm glad I had this preliminary trip to L & D. It gives me a better idea of what to expect when I go in for real (disorganization and lack of communication on the part of the staff, although most of them were pretty nice and seemed to be doing the best they could) and made me realize how important it is to be proactive, ask questions, and make requests, and to have someone there who can advocate on my behalf (when AC was there even briefly, it made things so much easier!). Mainly I'm just relieved that I don't have the swine flu, that Ziggy's doing well, and that I didn't have to be induced (I think I would have been too weak and tired to push and probably would have ended up with a c-section) and still have a chance to recover and regain strength before my delivery.

Anyway, I need to go and get ready for my day of appointments (car seat installation, non-stress test, and doctor's appointment), but I'll be back on Thursday with more updates from this week.

The Highs and Lows of Week 38

On Monday I picked up my cousin's bassinet from the friend she lent it to and was so excited to finally have one more major thing checked off my to do list. Unfortunately it turns out the bassinet was recalled in 2001 (it was made in 1997 so it's pretty old, which in and of itself makes me nervous), so I've decided not to use it. It was a cheap, rather flimsy Fisher Price one that I had some misgivings about when I first laid eyes on it. So now it's back to square one with regard to the baby bed. I've been checking Craigslist, but now I'm not so sure I want to go with a used one after all. I have a feeling I'm going to end up ordering something brand new for my piece of mind. Right now the whole issue is stressing me out though since I know that Ziggy could technically come at any time, and I want to have everything more or less ready.

On Tuesday I had my weekly appointment and non-stress test, and the good news is that everything looks great with baby. My blood pressure was slightly higher than usual at my appointment, but as I have no other symptoms of Pre-eclampsia at this time (other than some swelling, which is pretty normal at this stage of pregnancy), the doctor didn't seem too concerned. Plus, my blood pressure was normal when the nurse measured it after the non-stress test, so I'm hoping it was just a fluke. Apparently, women with IVF pregnancies do have a slightly higher risk of developing Pre-eclampsia, although I don't know the reason for this. I asked the doctor if it would be possible for me to get a private room at the hospital based on the fact that I'm colonized with pseudomonas and probably no one wants to share a room with someone who coughs and blows their nose as much as I do, especially when they have a newborn and it's flu season. She seemed to think that was a legitimate concern and said she'd look into it. It turns out that our family friend, who is a pediatrician and works as a liaison with the hospital, is also working on getting me a private room, which would be so nice!

By the way, the H1N1 flu vaccine still isn't available yet, but hopefully next week I can finally get it. I am really starting to get paranoid about going out in public, especially in large crowds, and am increasingly aware of everyone coughing and sniffling around me. I am sure there are people who must assume that I'm sick when they hear me coughing (in fact, the nurse who performed my non-stress test kept asking me about my cough), but in fact they are really more of a danger to me than I am to them (unless they're immunocompromised or something, but then pretty much anyone would be a danger to them).

After reading this story from the Science section of the New York Times this past Tuesday, I am even more apprehensive about the flu season ahead and also angry at people who insist that the flu vaccine is dangerous and should be avoided at all costs, especially when they have no medical expertise or training (yes, Bill Maher, I'm talking to you). I'm not saying there are absolutely no risks to the flu vaccine or any vaccine for that matter, but as with any medical treatment, the risk-benefit ratio needs to be considered, and I think it's pretty clear that for someone like me, who has not one but two risk factors for the swine flu (being pregnant and having Kartagener's Syndrome), the enormous benefits clearly outweigh any potential risks.

By the way, it turns out that my cousin, the one who lent me all the baby stuff and is a homeopath, is anti-vaccine (she didn't have her daughter vaccinated) and told my grandparents not to get either the regular flu vaccine or the H1N1 vaccine. She said she'll give them a homeopathic remedy against the flu instead. Riiiggghhhttt. Anyway, I don't appreciate her advice, especially since my grandparents are going to be around MY baby and not hers. Why can't people just keep their wacky views and beliefs to themselves? I don't go around insisting that others get vaccinated (I think people have the right to decide for themselves), but please extend me and others the same courtesy and let us make up our own minds. By the way I'm pleased to say that my grandmother, a doctor herself, didn't buy my cousin's talk about the homeopathic remedy, and even my grandfather, who is normally into alternative medicine, didn't want to try it but said that maybe my dad could use her remedy, since the vaccine isn't recommended for people like him who have had Guillaun-Barre Syndrome. Anyway, as you can probably tell, this issue pushes my buttons, so I should probably stop obsessing about it (after all, it can't be good for my blood pressure, right?). In general I've been feeling more irritable this week and more annoyed by certain things, like the constant construction work our neighbors are doing to their condo. It almost feels like PMS. I wonder if some hormonal shift is taking place inside me.

This past week I've also been stressing about when labor will begin, not because I'm so eager to have Ziggy arrive (I still feel like I could easily be pregnant for a little while longer and there's still so much left to do to get ready) but because I'm worried that AC wont make it in time since he has to fly here from Albuquerque. I asked the doctor when we would know for sure that I was in real labor and it was safe for AC to get on a plane (a false alarm probably wouldn't go down too well with the military folks), and she referred to the 5-1-1 rule. But she cautioned that if I had a speedy labor, there's a chance he might miss it altogether if he waits that long to hop on a flight. She did say that I could go into labor and delivery earlier than 511 to have them assess my progress and determine if I'm going into labor or will go into labor in the next day or two. But she added that the safest thing would be to have him fly here on or around the due date and stay with me during the week after so he'll already be here when it happens. Obviously that would be ideal, but I really don't see the Air Force giving him all that time off.

She also didn't seem to think it was necessary to induce me so early and said their usual policy is to wait until 41 weeks before deciding to induce. She did say that I could basically choose which day to induce if it comes to that, which makes me feel a little better. One problem is that my mom will be away at a conference from November 11-15. I'll be 41 weeks as of November 12, but I'd really like my mom to be here for the labor. I also really don't want to end up alone during those four days she's gone, either with or without the baby. AC may only get 7 days of paternity leave (originally it was 10-12 days, but now they're saying 7). So I've calculated that the ideal time for Ziggy to arrive is November 9 or 10--that way my mom will definitely be here for the birth and AC will definitely be with me while she's gone. Now if only there was some way to convince the little guy to come then. I know I'm probably obsessing about this way too much, but our unusual circumstances do make things a bit more complicated.

Now for the fun part: more baby gear! I found a great deal on Craigslist for more Fuzzi Bunz diapers--$200 for a lot of 38 diapers (36 small, 1 x-small, and 1 medium) that came with inserts and 2 wet bags (bags you carry with you to store the dirty diapers in when you're out and about and then wash with the diapers). Only three of them were obviously "girl colors" (pinky peach, lavender, and hot pink). They seem to be in really good condition overall. A few of the inserts have some urine stains, which I cam currently trying to sun out on the porch. Of the Fuzzi Bunz, I now have a total of 9 x-small diapers, 37 small, and 1 medium, not to mention the 3 AIO diapers. So I am practically swimming in cloth diapers now and really don't need to buy anymore until he outgrows the small size. But the great part is I wont have to do laundry as often, which will make my life a lot easier.

A family friend of AC's whom I've never met unexpectedly sent a box of baby items, which included a pillow, a cute bear hat, a pullover bib for 6-24 months, an adorable Classic Pooh two piece pants set for 0-3 months, and best of all, a hand-knit white and baby blue afghan and royal blue baby cape with hood. It is hard to believe she made them herself, they look so professionally done!

I also bought some 7th Generation Baby Natural Laundry Detergent, cotton swabs, cotton balls, cotton pads, 2 organic bamboo washcloths for baby, Earth Mama Angel Baby brand Angel Baby Shampoo & Body Wash and Angel Baby Lotion. So I am slowly and surely accumulating what I need. I plan to spend most of tomorrow doing some serious shopping, which is partly why I decided to post this week's summary early. Plus I plan on doing something a little different this week for my official 38 week post. Have I peaked anyone's interest (probably not, but that's ok--don't want anyone to get too excited in case I forget to post :) ? Until tomorrow, then...

What to do When You're Full of Hot Air

Yesterday we hosted a going away pool party/bbq for ourselves, and I think it was even more successful than our pre-4th of July party. One of the guests, a mother of two boys, asked if I was sick of being pregnant yet, and I honestly replied that I'm not. I keep expecting to get super uncomfortable and to start hating being pregnant, but so far at least, that hasn't been the case (knock on wood!). Sure I feel more breathless and tired and hot now than I did earlier in the pregnancy, but it hasn't been as bad as I expected. The two things that have bothered me the most while pregnant so far have been the lack of sleep and the unbelievable gas and stomach pain.

I've learned to adapt to the lack of sleep for the most part. It really helps that I don't work, go to school, or have any real responsibilities, so on those days when I've had a rotten night's sleep, I just blob around all day. I guess the sleep deprivation is good practice for when Ziggy arrives! As for the gas and stomach pain, that has been harder for me to deal with. I went through a period recently (shortly before the diarrhea started actually, so maybe there's a connection) where it felt like no matter what I ate, my stomach would hurt and I would develop really bad gas. The worst was when the pain was so intense that it would wake me in the middle of the night, contributing to the lack of sleep problem. Now I'm not saying it's over and everything will be fine in that department for the rest of the pregnancy, but it has improved, at least for the time being, so I thought I'd share some of my tips/tricks for dealing with gas and stomach pain during pregnancy or anytime really.

Peppermint tea: So soothing for an aching tummy and helps relieve trapped gas as well.

Plain yogurt or kefir: A cup of this healthy bacteria laden goodness usually helps alleviate my tummy woes.

Apple: Preferably green and crisp, but really any apple can do the trick.

Banana: Easy to digest when everything else seems to aggravate the problem.

Anti-gas tablets (simethicone): I prefer the chewable ones, which provide fast-acting relief. When I've exhausted all other options, this is what I turn to.

Heating pad: Obviously I can't use this now that I'm pregnant, but placed on the abdomen, it provides soothing relief from pain.

Positioning: Lying on the side opposite the heart (for most people that's the right side, for me and anyone with situs inversus, it's the left) relieves pressure on the stomach from the heavy liver and may allow gas to pass more easily. Also, getting on hands and knees (or elbows and knees) and sticking one's butt in the air can also allow gas to pass more easily (after all, gas rises, right?).

Eating habits: Avoiding foods that contribute to gas and stomach pain, eating smaller, more frequent meals (something I've learned to do since becoming pregnant even though it's against my 3 square meals a day nature), eating slowly, chewing food thoroughly, and not drinking water with meals since it dilutes the gastric juices which can lead to indigestion and gas production all can reduce the incidence of developing excess gas in the first place.

Anyway, those are some methods that have worked for me both now and before I was pregnant (yes, gas has always been an issue for me--it's just gotten worse with pregnancy). I apologize for the unsavory nature of this topic, but it's actually something I've been meaning to post for a while.

Week 30: The Big 3-0!

Yesterday I was officially 30 weeks along, and much like turning the big 3-0 (not that I've experienced it myself, but so I've heard), I expected it to be a big deal, but honestly, it was sort of anticlimactic and just like any other day :) Overall, this past week has been a good one though. I think I can safely say I am completely over that respiratory virus that AC and I had a few weeks ago (I've actually been feeling better for a while, but was afraid to jinx myself by admitting it). The diarrhea also appears to be gone, and whether it was the result of a stomach bug or because I ate too many of those Chinese dates that AC's stepmother sent me with the express instructions that I eat five a day throughout my pregnancy (I had given up eating them for a while because of the loose stool problem, but had just resumed my five a day regimen when the flood gates opened, prompting me to abandon them until I'm actually constipated) doesn't matter--I'm just relieved not to have to worry about becoming dehydrated or Ziggy not getting the nutrition he needs.

Speaking of Ziggy, I can't wait to see him in less than a week! He must really be running out of room in there because his movements have become a lot more subtle, almost muffled. I actually sometimes have a hard time telling if he's moving just by feeling him from inside. I have to either look at my stomach to see the movement or place my hand on my tummy to feel it from the outside. He still favors the left side of my abdomen most of the time, and AC and I like to joke that this means he will be a left-leaning liberal, which is fine by me, but I think AC would prefer if he were more moderate and central :)

This past week we also completed the last two of our prenatal classes, Preparing for Birth on Saturday (all the couples were having baby boys this time!), where I won another pack of 20 newborn diapers for having the furthest away due date, and Infant CPR and Safety yesterday, where my record of winning something at every class was finally broken. Oh well, 3 packs of 20 newborn diapers and a book on breastfeeding is a pretty good haul! Both classes had a lot of good useful information and handouts. I definitely feel like we're more prepared for the little guy's arrival now, which could be as early as 7 weeks from now or as late as 12 (assuming he arrives full term between 37-42 weeks)!

No, it's not the swine flu, but we're both sick!

Bad news; AC is sick again, and worse yet, I appear to have caught it! I was holding out so well until last night, when I think sleep deprivation got the better of my immune system. It was so hot last night in our apartment (82 degrees I think!) even with the air conditioning blasting (I almost wrote ac just now, but decided that would be confusing! :) The only way I could sleep was naked with an ice pack wrapped in my nightgown and placed against my body and the overhead fan on. It didn't help that my stomach wasn't feeling great as usual these days. Joy of joys, I woke up at 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep until 6:30! The only good part of the whole experience was that Ziggy became quite active, and I enjoyed feeling and seeing the little guy move around.

I didn't just lie there the whole time though. I got up to drink and eat and surf the Internet for a while until I started to feel drowsy again. I managed to sleep till about 9am, and when I woke up, the soreness in my throat hit me. That was AC's first symptom too. I can tell that it's a virus because whenever I get a viral infection, my chronic bacterial infection recedes temporarily. Pseudomonas is a notoriously weak (but persistent!) bacterium that cannot survive well in the presence of other infections, bacterial or viral. It tends to hide out until the other infection disappears, at which point it reappears with a vengeance.

Sorry to be graphic, but normally my sputum is a dark yellow to green color. Now it's a pale yellow to clear color, which is almost unseen in me! My cough is also more dry and hacking and less productive than usual, which is also generally a sign of viral infection in me. AC's infection appears to have become bacterial, judging by the color of his sputum, which is a pretty common occurrence; an initial viral infection weakens your immune system, allowing a bacterial infection to move in. If that happens to me, I may need to pay an earlier visit to my pulmonologist. I was hoping to be able to avoid taking any antibiotics during my pregnancy, but if I have to, obviously I will. We have a quiet weekend of rest and recuperation planned. I just hope it's not too hot in the apartment, otherwise we may need to escape to the coolness of the bookstore (although really, in our state, we shouldn't be out and about). Here's hoping for a quick recovery for the both of us!

Highs and Lows

Some highs and lows from the past few days:

AC failed his check ride after flying all of his regular rides really well. He made a few minor errors, but was shocked that he didn't pass. Now he has 6 rides left before he's done here, which could take as little as 3 weeks, or as long as 6 or more, depending on the weather and the planes. I am so sick of the uncertainty.

We finally received AC's class dates for his training in Albuquerque: Oct. 6-Feb. 5. We're supposed to be in Okinawa no later than February 20. Since the training is backed up in Albuquerque, AC thinks our Okinawa dates may get pushed back even further, which is fine by me.

AC came down with what appeared to be a 24-hour virus on Friday evening (slight fever, body aches, chills, sore throat, fatigue), and amazingly, I have not caught it, although my lungs have been feeling slightly worse than usual.

Some heavy rain this weekend revealed that we have a leak that drips directly onto our rented futon, so AC moved the futon and coffee table forward, and we set up a container to catch the drips.

Ziggy continues to be more active--not quite as boisterous as the day I was officially 26 weeks, but there's definitely more movement (most of which is visible from the outside) than before, including regular bouts of hiccups!

A Food Slump; Or the Whinings of a Privileged White Girl from the USA

Now I've never been a good cook, but I used to enjoy it. I used to spend hours searching for recipes online, bookmarking my favorites, creating meal plans and shopping lists, and I really enjoyed doing it. I loved the feeling of accomplishment when the end result was edible or, gasp, even good! I felt like I was slowly but surely learning my way around a kitchen, learning how to do things more efficiently, learning how to substitute effectively when I was missing an ingredient, learning at least a few good but easy recipes by heart that I could rely on in a pinch.

But now all that is gone, hopefully only temporarily. Not only am I bored and frustrated with cooking, but I'm bored and frustrated with food in general. For the most part, since I've been pregnant, food has tasted really good to me, better even than before I was pregnant, but now I'm starting to feel like I've eaten everything a million times already, that I'm sick of all of my tried and true meal and snack ideas. Basically, I feel like I'm in a cooking/eating rut, which I think can be attributed to the following factors:

All of our kitchen supplies are in storage in Corpus Christi, TX, so we've been having to make do with the few items we received from the loaner closet at the Airmen and Family Readiness Center. You're only supposed to keep items for a month, but we haven't heard anything about returning them, so we plan to keep it all until we leave. It's hard to cook when the only supplies you have to work with are 1 frying pan (with a lid that's too small), 1 small pot with lid, 1 small glass baking dish, 1 colander, 1 can opener, 1 vegetable peeler, a set of measuring spoons, a large plastic slotted spoon, a plastic pasta utensil thingie (don't know what they're called), a spatula, and of course plates, bowls, cups, glasses, and utensils. We finally bought a new knife set because our old one was stolen from the storage unit in Corpus Christi, so now we at least have that (no more trying to chop things with the steak knives they loaned us!). I'm sure there are some people who are such good, versatile cooks that they could whip up something fabulous even with this paltry setup, but I find it's hard even just to boil some pasta, since neither the frying pan nor the small pot are really up for the job. Our only saving grace is that we brought our electric griddle (best purchase we ever made, and only $20 too!), which we use daily, sometimes multiple times a day.

It's gotten really hot and humid here, and cooking when it's hot is not fun. I've basically made it a rule not to use the oven so as to avoid heating up the apartment. Even using the electric range produces a lot of heat. In general, cooking hot food indoors during the summer is not my idea of a good time.

AC's new martial arts hobby (Cuong Nhu) means that he leaves for his evening class (Monday-Thursday) right around when we would normally eat dinner (6:30pm). And since he's going to be exercising, he doesn't want to eat a lot. In fact, he often doesn't eat a real dinner, but just grabs a protein bar instead. Although this has helped him lose some weight (a good thing), it has not helped motivate my cooking. I tend to do my best cooking when I have an audience. When I'm just cooking for myself, I don't feel like putting much effort into meal preparation. Plus, it's kind of sad to eat by oneself. Sometimes I try to prepare dinner early so we can eat before his class, but it doesn't always work out.

Whenever I look at recipes to try to get inspired, I find that they're overly complicated, requiring too many ingredients (of which I'll only use a little, and then be stuck with a whole bottle or jar of something) and too much equipment (a food processor, for example).

Since we're not going to be here for much longer, I'm trying to limit the amount of "pantry" or "fridge door" items we buy, so as not to have too much food that we either have to throw away or drag with us to New Mexico. We still have some dried goods in storage in Corpus Christi, and I am already starting to think that a lot of that stuff will end up being tossed before we leave for Japan (unless we can ship dry goods overseas along with the rest of our stuff--that would be nice).

We spend way too much money on food as it is, so I feel restricted when trying to follow recipes or spice up our meal plans. Is it just me, or has food gotten a lot more expensive recently? Add to that the fact that, especially since I've been pregnant, I've tried to eat organically as much as possible, especially when it comes to the dirty dozen. Well, organic food is a lot more expensive than conventional food in general, and I can only find certain organic products at Whole Foods, which is pretty pricey. To me it's worth it, but it does mean that even after only buying the basics, our food bill is really high for just two people. I try to buy as much stuff as I can at the commissary because it's generally cheaper (although not always--for example, organic milk is actually cheaper at Whole Foods). Then I buy some specialty items and organics that I can't get elsewhere at Whole Foods. Lastly I try to shop at the two farmer's markets to get fresh, local produce, which is often grown organically, even if not certified organic (farmers actually have to pay a fee for the certification, so sometimes they wont do that, even though they do use organic farming methods). We live about 30 minutes from the commissary, about 20-25 minutes from Whole Foods, and only a few minutes from the farmer's markets, which are open on Tuesdays and Saturdays. I've been finding it difficult to juggle all of these various places where I shop for food. If I forget to buy something at the commissary or Whole Foods, it's not practical to drive all the way back just to get it. The farmer's market can be unpredictable in terms of what they sell. Sometimes I'll go there expecting to buy a particular item, and it will be sold out, or they simply wont have it that week.

I've simply gotten out of the habit of cooking. As I've mentioned before in a previous post, I haven't cooked regularly since November of last year. Being in NYC for several months spoiled me, since I got used to eating out or getting take-out all the time (SH was footing the bill--otherwise I definitely couldn't afford that lifestyle!). When I was in CT, I did some cooking myself, but my grandparents also came and made a lot of stuff for me. So, basically, I think I've been overly spoiled.

AC doesn't encourage me to cook. I know some women who hate cooking but do it anyway because their husbands demand it. I'm not saying I want AC to do that, but there's not much motivation to cook when he says, "Oh, don't worry about me. Just make something for yourself. I'll just grab a protein bar or make a sausage."

For the first time in my life, I feel restricted as a vegetarian, especially with regard to protein choices. I have no desire or plan to eat meat, but I do feel like a lot of times I don't know what to eat. Part of this is due to the fact that I probably read way too much about diet, health, and nutrition, and food starts to seem scary. Fish and seafood are good for you, but only in moderation, due to high levels of mercury and PCBs. Pregnant women especially need to be wary of seafood high in mercury, and should limit their consumption to about 12 oz per week. So products are a good source of vegetarian protein, but it's not good to eat too much soy (especially processed soy products) due to its high levels of phytoestrogens, especially if you have a family history of breast cancer (which I do). Dairy products are another good source of vegetarian protein, but supposedly excessive consumption of dairy can lead to overproduction of mucous (yeah, like I need more mucous!) and congestion. I'm still not sure if dairy has this effect on me. I tend to be congested and mucousy anyway, especially now that I'm pregnant, so its hard to tell. Dairy is hard to digest though, and can cause gassiness, so there's yet another reason not to overdo it. Beans are a great source of protein, fiber, and other nutrients, but they can also cause intestinal discomfort and gas. Plus, the lining of canned foods apparently contains BPA (except for Eden Organics brand, which are more expensive, of course). I would use dry beans and cook them myself if we had the right equipment and it wasn't so hot (this would save money too), but sadly I don't. Eggs are a great source of protein, but high in cholesterol, and therefore can't be eaten in unlimited quantities (although I've read that this doesn't really apply to pregnant women, since pregnancy hormones confer protection against the harmful effects of cholesterol). Anyway, it's enough to make an already obsessive girl go crazy!

I really hope that once we're settled in Japan, I'll start to relearn how to cook, and more importantly, start to enjoy it again. Of course, I'll have Ziggy then, which may make meal preparation more difficult, but I'm hoping that I can get something of a routine down once we're there. I don't aspire to be a great, gourmet cook or anything, but I would like to be able to prepare simple, nutritious, and varied meals for my family without it being too much of a chore or hassle (which is what it feels like now).

I know this post probably comes off as whiny and spoiled, and it is. I know how lucky I am to have the privilege of being "bored" with food. There are still many people in the world who are grateful to have anything to eat, much less a varied and tasty diet. As I've said before to AC, "When you're starving, pretty much anything tastes good!"

Pregorexia is not for me!

I stumbled across this article yesterday while reading the Health section of the New York Times and found myself quite disturbed by it. Of course I already knew that some women start or continue their eating disorders even while pregnant, but somehow reading about this woman's story made it all the more real to me. I think what bothered me the most was the realization that that could have been me, that, as a former anorexic, there is always the potential to slip back into that mindset and those destructive habits. Now that I've experienced pregnancy for myself, I understand how it could act as a major trigger for a woman who's already struggled with an eating disorder in the past or who is at risk for developing one. It's not just about the weight gain, although obviously that does play a large part. I think it's also about losing control, over your body, your sense of self as a woman, your perceived freedom, your relationship with your partner, your emotions, your visions of the future, etc. Your life is about to completely change, and for people that dislike change, that can be terrifying.

I would generally consider myself to be a person who dislikes change, but I am looking forward to this one, and I am proud to say I have not been tempted at all to engage in any potentially harmful eating or exercise habits. In fact, the thought of doing so, and possibly putting Ziggy in harm's way, makes me feel sick. I must admit, occasionally I do feel a bit anxious about the future, about what it will be like to raise a child, but it's more like the nervous anticipation that one feels when awaiting something new and exciting, but unknown. Overall I am so happy and grateful that we'll be welcoming this new little member of the family soon!

PS--One thing I do worry about, especially if Ziggy is a girl, is her developing an eating disorder. My mother and I both suffered from anorexia at around the same age (age 12-13), and recent research seems to indicate that there is a genetic component to the illness (my mother and I actually had our blood drawn as part of a study looking at the genetics of anorexia). I can't control genes, but I can model healthy behavior (which includes not just what I eat and my exercise habits, but also how I talk about food, weight, and body image), create a loving and supportive environment where my kid feels like s/he is accepted for who s/he is, and watch out for those early warning signs of trouble to come. The earlier one catches anorexia, the more quickly and successfully it can be treated. I was fortunate enough that, since my mother had experience with it, she suspected it long before the doctors did, and I received help relatively quickly.

Pregnancy and Kartagener's Syndrome

So far I haven't written much about how pregnancy has effected my Kartagener's Syndrome, and really that's because it hasn't effected it much at all, or at least not nearly as much as I thought it would. I experienced shortness of breath and the feeling of needing to take deeper, fuller breaths in the first trimester, actually almost as soon as I became pregnant. But now that I'm in the second trimester, that feeling of breathlessness has gone away. My mother even commented that I no longer sound out of breath on the phone.

Now my lungs seem even better overall than before I became pregnant. My most recent PFT (Pulmonary Function Test) a few weeks ago showed improvement from the last one I had in November, my oxygenation was 100%, and my new Pulmonologist (Dr. A, whom I really like) said that my lungs sound good and I seem to be very healthy. She has some antibiotics in mind in case I do become sick, but for now, she said to just keep doing what I've been doing and focus on prevention. I have had a pretty easy pregnancy so far, but of course that may change as I get further along. As Ziggy gets bigger and my uterus expands higher into my torso, it may exert some pressure on my diaphragm and ultimately my lungs, leading to more difficulty breathing. The humidity here isn't great for my lungs of course, and Dr. W did recommend that I stay inside in air conditioning as much as possible during the summer when it's especially humid. I don't think that will be a problem--I can't stand hot and humid weather, and neither can AC.

Even though generally my lungs are a bigger concern to my health, it's my ears and sinuses that have been giving me more trouble since I became pregnant. Many women develop "rhinitis of pregnancy" due to the swelling of tissue and increase in blood volume, and I definitely have that, although it also hasn't been as bad as I expected it to be. My ears have probably given me the most trouble, mainly because there's not anything I can do once they become blocked. I went to my new ENT here when I first arrived in Little Rock (Dr. H, who is also great--I have been very happy with all of my doctors here so far), and he not only suctioned out my sinuses (which always feel so good afterward), he also decided to put new tubes in my ears since he said that would be the only way to drain the fluid that had accumulated. I've had countless ear tube surgeries as a child, but this was the first time I'd had it done while awake. It was a bit unpleasant but not really that bad--he anesthetized the eardrum locally, made the holes, drained out the fluid, inserted the tubes, and I was good to go. He said to just schedule an appointment asnytime I feel like my ears or sinuses are blocked, and he'll suction them out for me. When I left his office, it was amazing, because I could finally hear for the first time in weeks. I had been walking around half-deaf because my ears were so stopped up with gunk. AC was getting really annoyed because I kept asking "What? What?" to everything he said, and we had to turn the sound way up whenever we watched anything.

Anyway, here's my daily regimen of prevention to keep myself and, by extension, Ziggy going strong throughout the pregnancy:

Exercise 30-60 minutes daily
Vest treatment 30-60 minutes daily (unfortunately at some point I'll probably get too big to continue using The Vest)
1 ampule Pulmozyme nebulized daily during vest treatment
1 ampule 0.9% saline nebulized daily during vest treatment (this will soon be switched to 6% saline per Dr. A's recommendation)
Advair 250/50 1 puff daily a.m.
Advair 100/50 1 puff daily p.m.
ProventilHFA inhaler 1-2 puffs up to 4 times a day as needed for wheezing (used rarely)
Nasonex 1 squirt each nostril twice daily
Astelin 1 squirt each nostril twice daily
Saline sinus rinse 1-2 times daily

Armour Thyroid 45 mg daily
Rainbow Light Just Once Prenatal One Vegan Guard Multivitamin 1 tablet daily (I highly recommend it since it's gentle on the stomach and doesn't cause constipation)
Twinlab Dr. Greene Omega-3 Fish Oil Softgels--1 softgel containing 270 mg EPA and 180 mg DHA twice daily
Twinlab Calcium Citrate with Magnesium and Vitamin D citrus flavored chewable wafers--2-4 wafers daily containing 500-1000 mg Calcium, 250-500 mg Magnesium, and 200-400 IU Vitamin D (they don't upset my stomach like calcium carbonate chews do)

Good and Bad News

This morning I took the bus to Dr. M's office (no more walking through central park for me after what happened last week!). The staff drew some blood, did an ultrasound, and then I met briefly with Dr. M, who reassured me that everything is looking good. When I asked him how many eggs he thinks we'll retrieve, he said it was too early to tell for certain, but thinks it should be more than ten (yay!). I'll continue the same dose of Follistim and Lupron tonight and tomorrow and then return on Saturday for another blood test and ultrasound. I also met briefly with the financial advisor, who informed me that the only thing we have to pay for is the $500.00 fee for the anesthesiologist on the day of the retrieval, which is nothing considering a normal IVF cycle is 10-20 grand!! So everything is going well in terms of the IVF. That's the good news.

Now for the bad news. Unfortunately I can't say everything is going well in terms of AC's eye. His recurrent corneal erosion has, well...recurred. He's been DNFed (placed on Do Not Fly status) for two weeks to allow the cornea to heal, but it may very well recurr again. He will automatically be dropped back a class, which in and of itself isn't a big deal, but if this turns into a chronic condition, AC may not be able to fly at all! He is pretty upset right now, as you can well imagine. :( I'm sorry to say we kind of had a fight on the phone just now about his eye and the quality of care he's receiving from the military doctors. I wont go into detail, but suffice it to say that a lot of our arguments about health and doctors is a direct result of our completely different upbringingings, attitudes, and experiences regarding the health care system. AC has another appointment with the doctors tomorrow, so hopefully there will be some good news to report. Until then, I'll try to sort out my conflicting feelings and make amends with my dear husband!

25 random (and boring) things about me (as seen on Facebook)

1. I am a worry wart. Case in point: I've spent the last few days worrying that no one would tag me in a "25 Random Things" note and grant me the opportunity to reveal my soul to the Facebook community.

2. I had never broken a bone until last week when I fractured my right wrist after slipping and falling on some ice. Currently typing this with my left hand.

3. I've never had a cavity, and I hope to keep it that way. Flossing is a regular part of my daily routine.

4. I have situs inversus totalis (all of my internal organs are reversed, so I'm like the mirror image of a "normal" person). It's part of a larger condition called Kartagener's Syndrome or Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia, a rare autosomal recessive genetic disorder which effects the cilia lining the respiratory tract and fallopian tubes. Basically it means I have lots of lung, sinus, and ear problems. I'm infertile as well.

5. I've had lung surgery, sinus surgery, and more ear surgeries than I can count (see above). One of my earliest memories is of going into surgery with my "My Little Pony" clutched tightly in my hand and then waking up and vomiting from the anesthesia.

6. I suffered from anorexia when I was 12 and 13 and stopped menstruating for over a year. I ended up being hospitalized for more than half a year because of complications with my lungs from malnutrition (see above), which left me with permanently damaged lungs. I also have osteopenia (low bone mineral density) as a result.

7. I met my husband on the steps of Memorial Auditorium at Stanford's Admit Weekend when we were both 18 and still in high school. We started dating at the beginning of Freshman year and have been together ever since. We got married on June 17th, 2006. He's the absolute best thing that's ever happened to me :)

8. There is a photograph of me sitting on Richard Feynman's lap when I was 3 somewhere in our family albums. Sadly I have no memory of this momentous occasion and my proximity to greatness. Feynman dated my grandmother and used to play with my mom and aunt when they were little.

9. I wore braces for 3 years from 5th-8th grade, had them put on and taken off 3 times, and had 3 orthodontists who all insisted that the previous doctor had had no idea what he was doing. I still wear my retainer to bed every night.

10. I never imagined I'd marry a man in uniform and be a military spouse. So far I like it. Ask me again when he deploys for the first time.

11. I'm an atheist and a liberal democrat, which means I keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself a lot of the time when I'm around military people.

12. I'm an only child who always wanted siblings, which is why I plan to have at least two kids.

13. I had my ears pierced in 8th grade but never wear earrings because they make my ears infected. In general jewelry makes my skin break out in a rash, which is why I gave up wearing it altogether. I'm probably allergic to nickel.

14. When I was 8 years old, I was almost kidnapped/sexually molested by a creepy guy with a goatee while on a ski trip with my dad in Vermont. Understandably, my mom was really mad at him for leaving me alone while he caught the last ski lift up the mountain.

15. My parents got divorced when I was 4, and my mom remarried when I was 6, but I saw my dad a lot growing up since he lived only an hour away in NYC. I've come to realize that my parents make much better friends than marriage partners.

16. Things I am ashamed to admit: I never learned how to touch type. I can't whistle. I've never had an orgasm (sorry, TMI, I know!). I tend to be critical of others. I hold grudges. I've forgotten a lot of my Russian. I take people for granted. I'm prone to jealousy. I have a bad habit of picking at pimples.

17. I have never smoked or taken any illicit drugs, and I almost never drink. It's not for any moral reason; I just can't stand the taste of alcohol.

18. Because of my Kartagener's Syndrome, I have a really bad sense of smell. Chances are if you ask me how something smells, and I give you a reply other than "I can't smell anything," I'm probably lying.

19. I was a lacto-ovo vegetarian for 8 years. I started eating fish on a trip to Russia, and since then have been a "pescaterian," although recently I've considered going back to strict vegetarianism.

20. My weight fluctuated a lot during high school and college but finally settled down once I got married. I've been told that marriage "suits me."

21. Most of the women in my family (especially on my mother's side) are well-endowed. Sadly I did not inherit this trait.

22. If I could have any superpower, it would be invisibility.

23. I find a lot of food to be too sweet or too salty for my taste. My husband totally doesn't get this.

24. I recently received my yoga certification from a mean and crazy 70 year old woman in Corpus Christ, TX whom I hope to never, ever meet again.

25. I was born in New Haven, CT, but grew up in Stanford, CA and Stamford, CT. Since marrying Andy, we've lived in a bunch of hot places: California City, CA, Montgomery, AL, Del Rio, TX, Corpus Christi, TX, Little Rock, AR, and Okinawa, Japan is next!

The Eyes Have It

Although AC managed to avoid his annual winter break respiratory infection, he still ended up in the ER twice during this vacation! The culprit was his right eye, which sustained a corneal abrasion from a wayward tree branch during the evasion portion of his survival training in November. Although the eye appeared to be healing well for the most part (he did have a sty on the right eyelid for a few days which may have been related), on New Year's AC experienced a flare up that consisted of stinging pain, extreme watering/tearing of the eye, photophobia (sensitivity to light), redness, swelling, and the unpleasant, irritating sensation that a foreign body was in his eye. The situation didn't improve with rest and hypertonic eye drops (prescribed to him by a military doctor) so SH took us to the ER at Beth Israel.

After a surprisingly short wait, AC had his eye examined by a physician's assistant, who proclaimed that there was no abrasion or foreign body, that his symptoms were consistent with an allergy flareup, and that all he needed to do was rinse his eye with saline and take Benadryl. Hmmm, an allergic response in only one eye, the eye that just happened to have been recently injured? Seemed a little too coincidental, but his symptoms were improving, so we accepted the explanation and went home with a referral to the Ear and Eye Infirmary in case things got worse. Unfortunately, they did.

Two days later, on Jan. 2nd, the symptoms returned with full force. AC (stubborn and suspicious of doctors as always) spent most of the day in bed, insisting he didn't need to see anyone. Finally, after much yelling on my dad's part and some gentle cajoling on mine, he conceded, so we hopped in a taxi and headed for Eye and Ear. After a five hour wait (yes, apparently everyone in NYC had an eye emergency on the second day of the new year when only one resident was on call--poor guy!), during which AC was seen three times by the same overworked resident, we finally made it out of there with a diagnosis of recurrent corneal errosion, a prescription for antibiotic eye drops, and a treatment plan that included reinstating all of the drops/ointments AC had initially been prescribed but which the military docs told him to stop after five days of treatment (I'll save my rant on the ineptitude of the military health care system for another day!), and a referral to follow up with an Opthalmologist. Apparently it was the right treatment, because his eye immediately began to improve.

Unfortunately this may end up being a lifelong problem that eventually requires surgery if it keeps recurring. Now AC is being seen by the military docs in Little Rock, and I sincerely hope they keep an eye on the situation (sorry, lame pun very much intended :) !