Week 21: The Best Feeling in the World

It's funny, just this past week I was complaining to AC about how I really want to feel the baby kick me and know for certain that it really is Ziggy and not just my wonky intestines. It would just be a nice reassuring sign that all is well with little Ziggy. Plus, every woman I know who's been pregnant has told me how amazing it is to feel their baby kicking.

Well, today I finally got my wish! The past few days I'd experienced what felt like a small poke, jab, or thump in my lower belly, a few inches below my belly button, but it would only happen once and then there would be nothing. At first I was pretty sure it was the baby, but then I would start second guessing myself. Then yesterday I just felt really aware of my uterus. It felt really heavy and full and just...well, there! My belly also seemed to feel firmer and harder than before. And I would get these little aches on the right side of my lower abdomen that were different from the sharp, stabbing round ligament pains that I sometimes get when I cough, sneeze, or change position too quickly. Then while I was lying in bed last night, I noticed little fluttery sensations on the right side, around where the pain had been earlier, and so I think maybe Ziggy was kicking or punching something inside (like an organ, maybe?) that was making it ache.

And now this morning, I started to feel the same little jabs, pokes, and thumps, except instead of just one, there were several in a row. They would stop for a while and then restart after a bit. First they were more on the right side, and then they moved toward the middle. And they are definitely the baby! Now I'm absolutely sure of it. Sometimes it kind of felt like he was rolling over in there. It was the most amazing feeling in the world! And then, just when I thought I couldn't get any happier, I saw my belly jump (not just once, but several times)--I actually saw it move from the outside because of the strength of the kicks! It was surreal. I mean, I thought that would only happen later on, but I'm glad it's happening now. It's about time! I was starting to get worried.

The timing is actually perfect because just today I made the decision not to do my weekly check of Ziggy's heart rate with the doppler anymore. I just read some stuff online that suggested it may not be a good idea to use the home doppler after 20 weeks because the baby's hearing is fully developed by now, and some people suspect that the doppler could sound really loud to the baby and possibly even harm the baby's hearing. So, to be on the safe side, I decided to retire the doppler for the rest of this pregnancy and fervently hoped that I would soon be able to feel Ziggy kicking. Well, now I can, and it is such a relief! I swear I could spend all day just holding and watching my belly for signs of movement. I can't wait to share the news with AC. He's sleeping in this morning, so I wasn't able to include him in feeling and seeing the kicks. Hopefully it wont be too much longer before he gets to feel/see them too. It's really just a matter of timing I think.

Anyway, I am just so over the moon with happiness right now and in love with my baby! And when I think how lucky I am that the IVF worked the first time, even though we just transferred a single embryo, it makes me feel so terribly sad for all the infertile women out there who are still trying desperately to conceive, or even worse, the ones who have exhausted all their medical and financial possibilities and now have to come to terms with the fact that they will never carry their own biological child (or even a non-biological child, if it's with a donor egg or embryo). I wish every woman who wants to could experience pregnancy at least once. It is truly a magical experience, and there's absolutely nothing like it on earth.

Week 14: With a whoosh and a gallop...

Today I am officially 14 weeks pregnant, solidly in the second trimester! It's hard to believe Ziggy has been inside me for 12 weeks now, making his/her home in there :) In honor of my 14 weeks, I decided to give the doppler another try this morning after reading some suggestions online. Other women recommended trying first thing in the morning before going to the bathroom, so the bladder would be full, which would push the uterus up. Supposedly raising the hips with pillows can also help. So, I did both, and something must have worked because amazingly I heard Ziggy's little heartbeat right away! Sometimes it sounded more like a whooshing sound, and sometimes like the clippoty-clop of a galloping horse's hooves. Either way, very cool!

I didn't have a stop watch, so I loosely tried to measure the heart rate using a digital clock. It was somewhere between 130 and 140 bpm, which is in the normal range of 120-160. Next time I listen I'll use AC's stopwatch to try to get a more accurate result. Luckily AC hadn't left for work yet so he got to listen as well. At some point, we should also try to record the heartbeat, so we can send it out to the rest of the family.

Anyway, it was such a huge relief to hear the heartbeat and know that Ziggy is still alive and well in there. I know I'm just being paranoid, but sometimes I really worry that something has happened to Ziggy. Even though it's been weeks and weeks since my single episode of bleeding, every time I go to the bathroom and wipe, I still expect to see blood on the paper, and breathe a sigh of relief when there's none. I wonder if all pregnant women feel this way.

In my case, I have always been extremely aware of the fragility of life before birth. Starting around the age of six, I saw my mother go through five miscarriages, the last one being a set of twins (first she lost one, and then the other). Well, I never literally see her miscarry, thank goodness, but I saw the aftermath. I distinctly remember her crawling into the closet and lying there crying while my step-dad stood by not knowing what to do. At the time I didn't understand what was going on, just that my mother was in pain. Later someone must have explained what had happened to me.

I figure that must be why I have such a fear of miscarriage. That and having to deal with the infertility, knowing that if we lose Ziggy, we can't just wait to get pregnant the old-fashioned way in a few months. Having another baby will mean going back to New York, back to Dr. M, back to another IVF cycle. It would be easier this time, since we already have the frozen embryos, but still, not something I want to have to do. Anyway, I didn't mean to turn this post into a downer, so I think I'll stop here. In the meantime, I am going to try to put aside my fears of losing Ziggy and just focus on this miracle of life that is happening inside me.

Road Tripping

I should probably update on our road trip, so without further ado...
After our appointment with Dr. M. on Thursday, AC and I had a nice farewell lunch with SH and my dad. Things had been a bit strained with them since I moved out of their place and into the house in CT (living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment for several months together will do that to you!), so it was nice to have a sort of informal reconciliation.

Anyway, then we hit the road and drove to McGuire AFB where we had dinner with some Air Force friends. They were all really excited about the baby--one friend even gave us a funny card with a Target gift card included (she had seen Andy's announcement on Facebook). It felt weird not telling them the complete truth about the IVF and everything, especially when they asked questions like "How long have you known?" or "How did she break the news to you?" We just sort of glossed over those questions with vague answers.

Later though, when I got a chance to be alone with one friend who knew about my fertility struggles, she asked me if we ended up seeing a fertility doctor. So of course I told her. AC and I had decided in advance that we're not going to volunteer the info about the IVF, but if anyone asks questions that lead in that direction, we wont try to hide it. My friend asked me a lot of questions because she and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for 3 months, and she's worried they may need assistance since she's already 31. I tried to help her as much as I could by answering her questions and giving her advice--I know I would have loved to have someone do the same for me when I was in her position.

The next day, Friday, we drove to AC's hometown in Maryland and had lunch with one of his high school friends. I hate to admit it but I was relieved when work prevented AC's brother from being able to make it. As luck would have it though, I did end up seeing him before the weekend was up! We then continued on to Annapolis for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. After the dinner, we celebrated AC's oldest aunt's birthday as well as mine (we were both born on April 5!), and then AC ended up making the announcement about the baby. It was really cute how excited everyone got! I guess it's a big deal that our child will be the first of this next generation.

The next morning before the wedding we walked around the Naval Academy, which was beautiful--I think for once the military's architectural contract didn't go to the lowest bidder! :P The wedding was also really beautiful, although I was surprised at how traditional it was. The pastor said that the wife must submit to whatever the husband chooses for them and must always follow and obey him. It just seemed really old-fashioned. I haven't been to that many weddings, but this was definitely the first time I'd heard anything so, I hate to say it, misogynist spoken.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention it, but the biggest surprise at the wedding was that AC's mother and brother showed up even though they've said all along that they wouldn't come. AC was so angry when he first learned that his mother was there, but fortunately he didn't do anything rash. His mother was actually really nice to both of us. I can't say the same for his brother. He didn't say a single word to me the entire time, even though we sat at the same table later at the reception (later he did tell AC that he just felt like he didn't know what to say to me).

After the ceremony, we posed as a family for pictures, and AC's mother even placed her hand on my belly and asked AC if it was true about the baby. She then asked if we were taking the baby to Okinawa (this was all in Chinese of course, but AC translated). At one point she grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and then remarked how large my hands are (not in a mean way). I pointed out that my feet are also large, and she smiled. She also noted that I was very "white" or "bai", as she said in Chinese (AC said she meant pale). I'm so used to my mom saying this as a bad thing, as in, "You're so pale. You must be getting sick." But I know that Asians really value pale/fair skin, so maybe she meant it as a compliment? Either way, whether she was complimenting me or concerned about my health, she was definitely being nice and attentive.

AC and I later discussed what could have brought about the change. Is it really the baby that's made the difference? Is she just acting or playing a game as AC suspected at times? Has she just finally decided that it's not worth it to fight anymore? Has AC's brother's recent marriage to someone she considers even less suitable than me caused her to favor me? We're not really sure what's going on, but I was definitely relieved that at least a temporary reconciliation seems to have been established.

Overall, I had a really nice time at the wedding. It was fun to see all of AC's relatives again, especially since I hadn't seen most of them in almost three years since our wedding. Another of AC's cousins will be getting married next August, and I would love to go, but it's so hard to know if we'll be able to what with AC's irregular schedule and being in Okinawa. So far one of his cousins has married a white guy, and this cousin is marrying a white girl, which means our kid will have Hapa cousins (assuming they have children, of course)! I think that's so cool :) Two of AC's cousins are also Hapa (they're half Icelandic), so it's already a pretty diverse family.

Sunday and Monday were spent driving back to Little Rock--it was a really beautiful drive. Virginia is a gorgeous state, with lovely rolling green hills. Tennessee was also very pretty. We stayed Sunday night in Nashville, where it was unseasonably cold. AC drove the whole way (what a trooper) while we listened to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and I ate and napped frequently :)

Overall it was the best road trip we've had (says the girl who didn't drive an iota :)

Transfer complete!

Currently there is a tiny little blastocyst floating around in my uterus, hopefully making itself at home and settling in for the next 9+ months! I had the transfer on Tuesday at around 9:30am. Seven of the eleven eggs that fertilized made it to the five day blastocyst stage, and since Dr. M. thought their quality was good enough, he decided to implant only one and save me the stress of having to consider reduction if he put in two and both embryos took. Of course the chance of getting pregnant with a single embryo transfer is lower than with two, but I think it was the best choice for me given my health concerns. I return to Dr. M's office on February 28th for a pregnancy test (crossing my fingers that it's positive!). Until then, I'll try to stay relaxed but keep my mind occupied so as not to go crazy from the anticipation! It's gonna be a looong week :)

PS: I've added an ultrasound image showing the embryo being placed in my uterus. See that tiny little dot? That's the baby! And this is the very first baby picture!

The Best Valentine's Present Ever

We have 11 little embryos growing! Transfer is scheduled for 10:00am on Tuesday, February 17th. I wish I could know how they're doing or even see them, but we wont know until Tuesday when we go in. It's crazy to think that there are 11 potential babies sitting in petri dishes in the lab right now, hopefully dividing and growing. Grow, little embryos, grow!

Cheaper By the Dozen

A perfect dozen! That's how many eggs were retrieved! Right now they're mingling with AC's sperm in petri dishes--I hope they're getting along :) Tomorrow we'll hear how many fertilized and how they're doing. I'll update more later when I have time. Right now I want to spend time with my dear husband!

Tomorrow is...

the big day! Retrieval will be tomorrow, a day earlier than we expected, and I'm really happy because this means one less day of waiting! Luckily AC was able to change his plane ticket to fly in this evening rather than tomorrow morning so he (and his boys :) can be there. Even though I'm sad about his eye flaring up again, the injury is what's allowing him to arrive a day earlier than we'd planned. Every cloud has a silver lining, right? As for his eye, it seems to be healing well for now. Only time will tell if this is going to be a persistent problem.

Since I haven't posted in a few days, allow me to backtrack a bit. My appointment on Saturday with Dr. M was the same as the Thursday appointment. I had blood taken, they did a sonogram, and Dr. M told me everything was coming along nicely and that I should continue the same dose of the medications. He was still projecting a Friday or Saturday retrieval at that point. On Monday (after the usual blood and sonogram), he reduced the Follistim to 100 IU and said that retrieval might be Thursday, but we'd know for sure on Tuesday. Yesterday (Tuesday), I had a feeling the retrieval day would be moved up. Not be too graphic, but the flood gates had really opened up "down there" if you know what I mean! This wasn't any normal mid-cycle increase in cervical mucous; it was a deluge!

Anyway, Dr. M said it looks like I have 15 mature follicles ready to go and called in a prescription of Ovudrel for me, which I injected in my belly last night at exactly 10pm. The timing is important because retrieval needs to be done exactly 36 hours later. The actual procedure should only take a few minutes. AC and I will be going to Dr. M's at 8:15 am tomorrow, AC will do his thing (although we have frozen back-up sperm in case he, ahem, has performance anxiety!), I'll be put under anesthesia, they'll stick a giant needle in my vagina to extract the eggs (I'm glad I'll be asleep for that!), and then I'll wake up and go to the place we're subletting on the Upper East Side while the doctors do their magic in the lab.

I knew that AC and I would not be able to maintain our sanity if we stayed with my dad for an entire week (plus we want some privacy), so this past week I've been searching for a place to sublet on Craigslist and have even checked out a few in person. I finally managed to find an adorable and quite spacious studio apartment on the first floor of a doorman building on East 71st St. between 2nd and 3rd. The only downside is that we only have it until Tuesday at 2pm, so we'll have to spend two nights at my dad's before AC leaves next Thursday (February 19th), but I think we'll be able to survive for that short time.

Suffice it to say, I am so happy right now! And me, my bloated, distended belly, and my 15 mature follicles are so ready for tomorrow! More news later--until then, wish me luck!

Good and Bad News

This morning I took the bus to Dr. M's office (no more walking through central park for me after what happened last week!). The staff drew some blood, did an ultrasound, and then I met briefly with Dr. M, who reassured me that everything is looking good. When I asked him how many eggs he thinks we'll retrieve, he said it was too early to tell for certain, but thinks it should be more than ten (yay!). I'll continue the same dose of Follistim and Lupron tonight and tomorrow and then return on Saturday for another blood test and ultrasound. I also met briefly with the financial advisor, who informed me that the only thing we have to pay for is the $500.00 fee for the anesthesiologist on the day of the retrieval, which is nothing considering a normal IVF cycle is 10-20 grand!! So everything is going well in terms of the IVF. That's the good news.

Now for the bad news. Unfortunately I can't say everything is going well in terms of AC's eye. His recurrent corneal erosion has, well...recurred. He's been DNFed (placed on Do Not Fly status) for two weeks to allow the cornea to heal, but it may very well recurr again. He will automatically be dropped back a class, which in and of itself isn't a big deal, but if this turns into a chronic condition, AC may not be able to fly at all! He is pretty upset right now, as you can well imagine. :( I'm sorry to say we kind of had a fight on the phone just now about his eye and the quality of care he's receiving from the military doctors. I wont go into detail, but suffice it to say that a lot of our arguments about health and doctors is a direct result of our completely different upbringingings, attitudes, and experiences regarding the health care system. AC has another appointment with the doctors tomorrow, so hopefully there will be some good news to report. Until then, I'll try to sort out my conflicting feelings and make amends with my dear husband!

The Case of the Missing Lupron

I woke up yesterday (as usual around 5am) in a panic, realizing the night before that we'd forgotten to give me my Lupron shot. Horrible visions of having to cancel the cycle swam before my eyes as I stood in shock, mindlessly repeating "OMG, what have I done?!" out loud. I pictured myself having to call Dr. M's office when it opened in a few hours to confess my awful blunder and dreaded the disappointment and blame I'd hear in the voices of his staff. I quickly got on the computer, conducted a few searches, and soon found out that missing one shot was not such a big deal. Plenty of other women had missed a dose and go on to continue their IVF cycles, many successfully conceiving, so I calmed down a bit. Thank goodness for the internet!

Then when SH woke up an hour or so later, I told her and she immediately gave me the shot, reassuring me that it really wasn't a big deal. In order to prevent this from ever happening again, I have started setting my alarm to go off at 9pm. I've also taken to keeping the Lupron box on my pillow--if that doesn't remind me, I don't know what will!

So, anyway, the crisis was averted, but I am kicking myself for having let this happen. I start the Follistim tomorrow, so it's imperative that I be on top of everything from now on. It's time to kick my butt into gear!

Good, Bad, Ugly

Note: Taking a page from Xin Lei's book...

Good: My appointment with Dr. M went well yesterday, and most likely I will be starting Follistim (the medication that stimulates ovaries to grow multiple eggs) on Monday, February 2nd with retrieval (removal of the eggs) projected for Friday, February 13th when AC will hopefully be here.

Bad: While walking through Central Park on my way to the appointment, I slipped and fell on a patch of ice and hurt my wrist.

Ugly: A trip to the NYU Hospital for Joint Diseases revealed that I've broken my wrist (first broken bone ever!) and will be in a cast for at least 6 weeks. Eek!

I've decided my blog is a bit boring without any pictures, so to start off with some visuals, I thought I'd post some photos of my Lupron injections. As you know, I've been on Lupron shots for two weeks (10 mg injected subcutaneously into the belly each night before bed). The injections actually haven't been as unpleasant as I'd thought they'd be. Sometimes the injection site will sting, burn, or itch a little, but otherwise it really hasn't been all that bad. As for the side effects, I definitely get hot a lot more easily (although this might also be from the Thyroid medication I'm now taking), and I'm starting to feel a bit more weepy and sensitive (kind of like with PMS). I also now have a nice little bruise on the left side of my belly (my first war wound from my battle with infertility :) The needle (featured below) is the same one diabetics use to inject their insulin. It's hard to believe that some diabetics have to do this every day of their lives, several times a day! I definitely have a new appreciation for what they must go through in order to stay healthy.

And now I'll just shut up and let the pictures speak their thousand words (by the way, those are my dad's enormous hands! :)

And we're off!

And so it really has begun! All the months of planning and preparation, of seeing those mediocre doctors in Texas for tests, of talking and obsessing with my dad and SH over the phone are finally coming to fruition. The IVF process has officially begun!

In an effort to be succinct (yeah, right!), I’ll list the highlights of my visit as bullet points.

• Dr. M is unbelievably tall, unnaturally tan with bleached blond hair (despite being 62!), and very laid back and friendly. Suffice it to say, I liked him

• Based on the thyroid tests I had done in Texas, he suspects I may have subclinical Hypothyroidism, meaning that, even though I’m technically within the normal limits for thyroid hormone, I’m at the lower edge of normal, which can have an effect on both fertility and miscarriage rate. Since we definitely want to avoid miscarriage, he wanted to retest my levels and start me on a low dose of thyroid hormone if the tests confirmed his suspicions. He also asked me if I had any of the following symptoms which can indicate Hypothyroidism: low energy/fatigue (yes), depression/low mood (yes), coldness in hands and feet (yes), difficulty maintaining my weight (not really, but I eat so healthy and have greater energy needs due to my lungs, so a dip in metabolism probably wouldn’t have much effect on my weight), low sex drive (YES, definitely!), and difficulty concentrating (yes, over the last few years I’ve felt increasingly distracted and unable to focus). He also wanted to test me for Vitamin B12 deficiency (low levels can also affect mood and energy) and start monthly injections of 1000 IU if necessary. Vegetarians and older people are more likely to be deficient. I had my blood drawn, and they’ll call with the test results tomorrow.

• I was on cycle day 23 (a good day to come in, he said), so he ordered a sonogram of my ovaries, which indicated that it was perfect timing for preparing for the IVF cycle to start after my next period! Once I get my period (which should be in about a week), the whole process should be complete within 21 days. When he said that I would be starting the Lupron today, my heart gave a little leap! It was hard to believe that everything was working out so well.

• The sonogram also showed my ovarian reserve (basically how many eggs I have remaining in my ovaries), which turns out to be good for my age, but not great. Although I felt slightly disappointed, he explained that this was actually a good thing as far as the IVF goes. If I had a huge ovarian reserve (as he had expected for someone my age), he would have to be more conservative with the stimulating medications so as to avoid Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (otherwise known as OHSS), a potentially life-threatening condition in which the body releases too many eggs and has an overload of estrogen, resulting in severe pain, abdominal bloating, and difficulty breathing since fluid fills the abdominal cavity, pushes on the lungs, and sometimes even leaks into the lungs (obviously a no-no for me!). By being more conservative with the meds, he would also risk having to cancel the cycle if I failed to stimulate at all, which would push the IVF back by a month. So, the fact that my ovarian reserve is not as high as he’d thought means my risk of OHSS is low and also that he can more aggressive in getting as many eggs as possible.

• He said we’ll transfer a maximum of two embryos (although we may do just one depending on how many embryos we have to freeze for subsequent cycles and their quality).

• Given where I am in my current cycle, his tentative timeline for the IVF cycle is as follows. I’ll return on January 27th after two weeks of Lupron injections (which will temporarily shut down my ovaries) for another sonogram. If everything looks as it should, I’ll start the stimulating hormones at that time. I need to remember to bring the meds that SH has procured for me to the appointment. The retrieval (when they remove the eggs from my uterus) should happen between February 7th-11th. The procedure will only take about 5-7 minutes, during which I’ll be asleep but breathing on my own. Supposedly, there should be no pain afterwards. The transfer (when they place the embryos into the uterus) should occur 3-5 days after the retrieval. If all goes well, I should have a positive pregnancy test by March 1st!

• As if things couldn’t get any better, when we started to ask about payment, Dr. M insisted that we wouldn’t have to pay anything! They’ll try to get what they can from the insurance, but otherwise, they’ll cover everything! Unbelievable, huh? When we later told SH, she said she’d suspected all along that he wouldn’t ask us to pay since she refers over 300 patients to him a year and really likes her. I am still so stunned at this sudden turn of events!

• A member of his staff (a very nice, fast-talking Russian woman) gave me my first Lupron injection in my belly. She said I didn’t have a lot of belly fat (which made me feel good, although if I get pregnant, that wont be for long! :), so to make sure to jab the needle straight in rather than at an angle, or it might go through the other side. I’ll be injecting myself with 10 units every evening before bed, alternating sides of my belly to avoid soreness.

• The semen analysis AC had in Texas indicates that his PH is a little high (it was 8, when it should be a 7), but SH said AC was probably just dehydrated (which I’m sure is true, since he NEVER drinks enough water!)

• If we have to use frozen sperm, we’ll need to do ICSI (where they inject the sperm directly into the egg), since thawed sperm don’t usually swim as well. Since a fresh cycle is always better than a frozen one, when I mentioned that AC may be back for a long weekend for Valentine’s Day, they said they may be able to delay the cycle by a few days, so we could do the retrieval on February 13th or 14th using fresh sperm. It would be so nice for AC to be there for the process, to wake up from the procedure and see him first thing, and to spend the next few days together waiting to hear how our little embryos are doing. Most likely he wont be able to be there for the transfer, but this is definitely more than I had expected!

• The side effects of Lupron (hot flashes, night sweats, moodiness—what fun!) should start in about a week, so until then, I’m just going to try to enjoy feeling good. AC is arriving late on Friday for a long MLK weekend (he wont have to fly out until late Tuesday afternoon!) and I can’t wait to celebrate with him. Could life be any better at the moment?

And so it begins...

Today's the day! My appointment with Dr. M is at 11am. My dad and I will be leaving in a little over half an hour to walk across the park to his office. I'm a tad nervous but also excited and eager to get the ball rolling on all this IVF stuff. I hope to have lots to report following my appointment--until then, wish me luck!

Of MFMs, REIs, and IVF

(Written on Dec. 19th at the Ski Sundown Mountain in New Hartford, CT)

Although AC had planned on going snowboarding in Massachusetts, it wasn't until today that he finally got the chance to do so. The weather was not cooperative, and we were completely unprepared for the storm; with no snow tires or antifreeze and frozen windshield wipers that seemed to make the visibility worse rather than better, it was a miracle we made it in one piece! Numerous cars, police vehicles, and ambulances littered the road as evidence of the treacherous conditions. What should have been an hour's drive ended up taking nearly three hours, but AC was determined to make it to "Ski Sundown" before sundown (actually it was impossible to tell if the sun had already set by the time we arrived, since it had been dark all day!).

Now AC and my father are happily skiing and snowboarding while I'm relaxing here in the ski lodge in a chair by a window, watching big fluffy flakes pour out of the sky. I would almost describe it as peaceful save for the endless cacophony of teenagers surrounding me.

We had our consultation with the MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist) today at Yale, and wow, what a difference a good doctor makes! After our terrible experience with the REI (Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility) in Corpus Christi, our meeting with this doctor was a tremendous relief. Although incredibly accomplished, he's completely unassuming and has a pleasant, open manner. Moreover, he's extremely knowledgeable. Perhaps most impressive was that he had actually prepared for our meeting by researching Kartagener's Syndrome, reading my file, and thinking about my case.

After taking down a brief medical and family history, he recommended that we meet with a genetics counselor to discuss our options, even if we choose not to undergo preimplantation genetics. Thankfully my cystic fibrosis genetic test was negative. As for Kartagener's, he said it's unlikely that I received two recessive genes for Kartagener's, one from each parent, as I had long believed. More likely, I received one recessive gene from one parent, which combined with a random, genetic mutation. Apparently, an average of fourteen genetic mutations arise in each generation, which means that, even if AC isn't a carrier for KS, our child could still end up having it.

The question now is, do we do a genetic consult? And more importantly, do we do preimplantation genetics, which is not only very costly, but doesn't even guarantee that the child will be free of the genetic defect the embryo was tested for? My gut feeling is to meet with our REI (the doctor who will be performing the actual IVF cycle) and find out what he thinks.

When I asked about travel during pregnancy, he seemed to think I would be able to travel both by car and plane, as long as I walk around every hour to prevent blood clots from forming in my legs. He also mentioned that pregnancy would start to effect my lungs immediately due to the changes in hormones, and that it's impossible to predict exactly how I'll respond to this "stress test". The good thing is I'm young and relatively healthy. Overall, he was very optimistic that the IVF would work quickly and that I would have a fairly easy pregnancy, although he did reaffirm the importance of a singleton pregnancy. Apparently, IVF increases the risk of identical twins from about 1 in 300 in the general population to about 1 in 100, so even if they implant only one embryo in my uterus, I could still end up with two! I really would prefer not to have to address the issue of a fetal reduction, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Apparently, with IVF, there's also a twofold increase in heart defects, from about 2-3% to 5-6%, and I've also read about slight increases in the risk of other birth defects, like cleft lips and palates. I don't really want to think about these possibilities, but I guess it's better to be informed.

As for the IVF itself, SH has been a busy bee as usual and managed to obtain all the medications I'll need for the cycle for free! She is truly amazing! Despite our differences and issues in the past, I really appreciate everything that she's done for me. Apparently the REI also plans to give us a good deal on the IVF cycle since he's friends with SH, so this may end up costing us less than we had anticipated.

Overall, I'm feeling pretty confident about this whole process. Only a couple of weeks until my first meeting with the REI when hopefully I'll have a much better understanding of what the IVF cycle entails and more to blog about. In case I don't get a chance to post in the next couple of days, have a Happy New Year! I'll be back in 2009!

A Tentative Timeline of Our Travels

Nov. 21st: AC returns from SERE, only a little worse for the wear (nursing a scratched cornea that is supposed to heal cleanly, I hope!).

Nov. 22nd: A fun day of eating, hiking, and walking around our Alma Mater (there's so much new construction going on, it's crazy!).

Nov. 23: AC and I fly back to Corpus Christi.

Nov. 24-Dec. 1st: A frantic week of packing, cleaning the apartment, finishing my web site for my class, etc. Sadly I don't think we'll have a real Thanksgiving this year :(

Dec. 1st: Movers come pack up our stuff and put it in storage. We clean the apartment, turn in our keys, and check into lodging on base for the night.

Dec. 2nd: I go to Family Practice to have my overseas medical clearance form signed (which basically means that my health needs can be met by the facilities in Okinawa), we drive both cars (packed with all the stuff we'll need in Little Rock plus for our month long trip to the East Coast) to Austin for the night (~3.5 hrs.), I get online for my mandatory 3 hour final class meeting to present my final website to the class, and we collapse exhausted into bed.

Dec. 3rd: Drive both cars to LR (~8 hrs.), have dinner with AC's friend who's stationed there, and find a place to safely stow my car for the month it will be sitting there unattended (note to self: make sure jumper cables are in car in case it's completely dead upon AC's return).

Dec. 4th: Drive to Urbana, IL (~8 hrs., but in one car, thank goodness!) to spend the night and have dinner with my two cousins, J & M.

Dec. 5th: Drive to South Bend, IN (only ~3.5 hrs.) to spend the night at AC's aunt's place (his cousin from Chicago will also be there).

Dec. 6th: Drive to Cleveland, OH (~4 hrs., but the end is almost in sight!) to spend the weekend with AC's aunt, uncle, and two cousins, and drop off his car to leave with them for at least the next 4 years (I wonder if AC will experience separation anxiety from his beloved Neo?).

Dec. 8th: AC's aunt drives us to the airport, we fly into Manchester and rent a car to drive to Hanscomb, AFB where we finally get to see the Guimess!

Dec. 8-14th: Spending time with the Guimess and various other friends in the Boston area.

Dec. 14th or 15th: Either drive (NOOOOO!!! No more driving, I can't stand it!) or take the train (Yes, yes, more expensive, but oh so worth it, especially if the roads are icy!) or Chinese bus (hmmm, a possibility...) to NYC.

Dec. 15th on...:Seeing friends in NYC, spending time with my dad and his girlfriend, staying in their small but cozy (isn't that just a nice way of saying cramped?) 1-bedroom, nearly half-a-million dollar apartment that's just a block from Central Park.

Dec. 17th: Celebrate my dad's birthday (meanwhile my mom and step-dad arrive from CA and Moscow respectively).

Dec. 18th-26th: More time in NYC, but also in Stamford preparing for and then celebrating Christmas (although there's not much to prepare this year since we've decided on no tree or presents, just food), spending time with relatives, reconnecting with old friends from high school.

Dec. 27th: Mom and step-dad fly to CA for conference, AC and I return to NYC.

Dec. 28th-Jan 1st.: More frolicking in the big apple, celebrating New Year's, etc.

Jan. 2nd: Drive or preferably take the train to Philadelphia, spend time with friends in Philly/NJ.

Jan. 5th: AC flies to LR, I return to NYC via train.

Jan 5th-?: I spend time in NYC with dad, etc.

Jan. 13th: First appointment with REI to discuss IVF.

Apr. 4th: AC's cousin gets married in Maryland, we'll try to attend if possible.

May 20th: AC's school in LR ends.

May 21st-Jul 20th: AC returns to CC.

Jun. 27th: AC's friend gets married in MD; AC will definitely attend, while I'll attend if possible.

Jul. 21st: AC must report to New Mexico for additional training (he'll most likely drive my car to NM from CC).

Nov. 6th: AC graduates from NM training, drives my car to CA where it will be stored for three years while we're in Okinawa.

Nov. 30th: AC must report to Okinawa, and I'll join him as soon as I (and hopefully the baby) can.

Whew! What a year! A good deal of what happens this year and where I'll be will depend on whether the IVF works, how long it takes, whether I can fly and join AC, where I end up delivering (most likely at Yale New Haven in the very same hospital where I was born!), etc. This will no doubt be an exciting, but exhausting, year for us both. Looking at this schedule makes me feel a bit overwhelmed at times. It will be especially difficult for me to be separated from AC for so long if the worst case scenario is that I get pregnant but have to remain in NYC the whole time due to my health. AC is going to try to fly and visit me as much as possible if I can't travel. It seems crazy to try to accomplish IVF during this hectic time when AC will be in 4 different locations over the course of the year. However, if we were to delay IVF until later when we're in Okinawa and AC is deployable, there's no guarantee he'd be around for much of the pregnancy or birth either. If I undergo IVF in NYC, at least I'll be surrounded by family, many of whom are/were doctors (my dad's girlfriend is and my grandmother was an OB/GYN) who can take care of me and look after me in case anything goes wrong. In the end, if the result is a healthy, happy baby, it will all be worth it!

Inaugural Post

I've been meaning to start a blog for a while now but several things (mainly procrastination and a general sense of "who in the world would want to read what I have to say anyway?") have prevented me from taking the plunge. Fortunately, one of the assignments for my current class on web site design, building, and programming (Libr. 240-03: Information Technology Tools and Applications) is to set up a blog. In my case, I plan to actually use it.

Since AC and I move around so frequently and have friends and family scattered across much of the country (and even the world), this blog will serve as a convenient and easy means of staying in touch with loved ones and offering them a glimpse into our rather mundane lives. Moreover, since AC and I will be separated more often in the months and years to come, given his recent airframe and location assignment (yay for MC-130P Combat Shadow flying out of Kadena AB!) and our decision to attempt IVF this coming year (more on that to come in a later post), it will be nice to have this blog as a means of staying connected, not to mention as a chronicle of my IVF exprience.

When AC spent a quarter studying abroad in Moscow, I found his blog invaluable in allowing me at least some involvement in his world. What with the extreme time difference and high cost of overseas calls (not to mention that the satellite kept dropping our calls after exactly 29 minutes--yes, we timed it!), it was often the only contact I had with him. Our upcoming move to Okinawa next November will also necessitate an easy way for us to share photos and updates with family and friends on the other side of the globe.

Lastly, as someone with a rare genetic chronic illness (Kartagener's Syndrome/Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia), I hope that this blog will provide some insight for those who share my condition or want to learn more, especially as regards KS/PCD, IVF, and infertility.