New Year's Resolutions for 2010

1. Lose the baby weight! I have about 15 pounds to go, not bad considering I gained over 45 while pregnant. I don't even care so much about the number on the scale, but it would be nice to be able to fit into some of my old clothes. My wardrobe is shockingly limited these days!
2. Even more important than losing the baby weight is getting physically fit. Since I broke my wrist before becoming pregnant, I entered the pregnancy with a weaker upper body than usual. Now that I have to tote around an increasingly heavy baby who is growing at an astonishing rate, I've realized that I really need to strengthen my arms, shoulders, back, and core. Which means I need to find time to exercise regularly, including getting back to doing yoga. Aside from nearly daily walks,kegels, and trying to draw my navel toward my spine whenever I think of it, I haven't done much exercise since baby's arrival.
   
3. Learn how to cook healthy but tasty meals that both meat-eating AC and I will enjoy (obviously this wont really be necessary until we get to Japan and are finally settled in our own home). This past year I have not had the opportunity or the means to cook much, and I am starting to miss it. I've been thinking about buying The Flexitarian Table: Inspired, Flexible Meals for Vegetarians, Meat Lovers, and Everyone in Between. I think it might be the solution to feeding a carnivorous husband who doesn't always enjoy my vegetarian fare.
   
4. Stick to a budget, especially when it comes to grocery shopping. Now that we have a baby and will be living in expensive Japan, I am going to have to be more careful about spending money.
   
5. Establish a schedule for keeping the house clean. This year was unusual in that I often didn't have to do the cleaning (such as when I was living in NYC with my dad, at our family house in CT, or here in CA with my mom), which was really nice. But once we move to Japan and have our own place, I'll have to reestablish a routine. I also need to get over my all or nothing attitude when it comes to keeping house. I either clean everything obsessively or let everything go, but with a baby I'll have to take a more balanced approach to making sure the place is clean enough without going overboard.
6. Cultivate my own interests. Both for my own sake and to set a good example for the baby, I need to ensure that I maintain and possibly expand my current interests and creative pursuits.
   
7. Get out of the house and explore! I have a tendency to be a homebody, but again, in order to set a good example for the baby and to enrich his life, I need to try new things.
8. Make new friends and stay in touch with old friends. With AC gone a lot in Japan, I'll need the support of friends near and far.
   
9. Try to blog more regularly, although I realize with a baby, it certainly wont be as often as before.
10. Be the best mother I can be without beating myself up over my inevitable mistakes. Basically, I want to be a "good enough" mother.
    

I don't normally do the whole New Year's Resolution thing, but I thought it might be fun to have some goals to motivate me this year. I have to say, 2009 was a great year! I finally became pregnant and my wish for a baby was fulfilled. I'm interested to see how 2010 goes for our little family this year. We'll finally be stationed at a base longer than 8 months and will have a chance to settle in to a community, a home, a way of life for once. It will also be my first real experience with living the life of an active duty spouse as AC will be gone a lot on TDYs and possibly deployments. Plus, there will be a new member of the family to consider in every decision that we make. I'm both excited about and apprehensive of our upcoming move. However 2010 turns out, it will certainly be different than any year thus far!

Highs and Lows

Some highs and lows from the past few days:

AC failed his check ride after flying all of his regular rides really well. He made a few minor errors, but was shocked that he didn't pass. Now he has 6 rides left before he's done here, which could take as little as 3 weeks, or as long as 6 or more, depending on the weather and the planes. I am so sick of the uncertainty.

We finally received AC's class dates for his training in Albuquerque: Oct. 6-Feb. 5. We're supposed to be in Okinawa no later than February 20. Since the training is backed up in Albuquerque, AC thinks our Okinawa dates may get pushed back even further, which is fine by me.

AC came down with what appeared to be a 24-hour virus on Friday evening (slight fever, body aches, chills, sore throat, fatigue), and amazingly, I have not caught it, although my lungs have been feeling slightly worse than usual.

Some heavy rain this weekend revealed that we have a leak that drips directly onto our rented futon, so AC moved the futon and coffee table forward, and we set up a container to catch the drips.

Ziggy continues to be more active--not quite as boisterous as the day I was officially 26 weeks, but there's definitely more movement (most of which is visible from the outside) than before, including regular bouts of hiccups!

Baby Gear Mania, Part 1

Given my current focus, nay obsession, with researching baby products, it's fitting that this article appeared in today's Style section of the New York Times. The basic premise is that, in these strained economic times, parents (even the affluent ones who can afford it) are foregoing purchasing tons of new baby gear for their progeny, and instead are turning to second-hand products to lessen both the financial as well as environmental impact of their choices.

Personally I am all for frugality and restraint when it comes to purchases, whether they be for me or for the baby, and for that reason, I am planning on only buying the bare necessities for Ziggy and purchasing them used if possible. Of course our particular situation (namely all the moving we'll be doing in the first few months of Ziggy's life, including the big move to Japan when he's only 3-4 months old) necessitates that we exercise some restraint in our purchases and wait until we're settled in Okinawa before buying everything we need. Even then, I am hoping we can purchase a good deal from other military families moving away rather than from the Base Exchange.

That said, according to Baby Bargains, a book which I'd highly recommend to any prospective parent, there are two items that should always be purchased new for safety reasons: car seats and cribs. Given the large numbers of recalls on these items, as well as the fact that wear and tear, and even just sitting in a hot storage facility, can deteriorate the materials to a potentially unsafe degree, it makes sense to buy these new if possible. So, that's my plan: a new car seat to be purchased here in the states before Ziggy's arrival (most likely in CA), and a new crib to be bought later in Okinawa, because I really don't want to have to transport a brand new crib to Japan, only to have it end up lost, broken, or stolen by the movers.

In the meantime, I need to find a suitable bed for a newborn, one that will preferably last at least until he's about 3-4 months old (when we'll be in Japan and can buy a real crib) and be portable. My research has revealed the following options: bassinets, cradles, Moses baskets, co-sleepers, portable playpens (with or without bassinet attachment), portable cribs, portable infant travel beds, and of course, the old standby, a small suitcase or laundry basket (ok, I'm not really serious about the last one, but I did sleep in a small suitcase for the first few months of my life because my parents were poor and my Russian grandmother was superstitious, which meant no baby purchases until I was born). Although I am leaning towards one of the portable options, the safety of some of these items, especially when used as long-term beds, is questionable and something I'll have to look into further.

From what I've read and heard from other mothers, bassinets, cradles, and Moses baskets are a waste of money to buy brand new, and should be either purchased used or, better yet, borrowed from a friend. I do have a third cousin in California (she lives about 30 minutes from where I'll be staying) whose daughter is now about two and who would probably lend me some baby stuff temporarily while I'm there (of course I have no idea if she used a bassinet, cradle, or Moses basket, but it's probably worth it to ask). My mom also has a friend who lives nearby and recently had a child, and she might also be a source of temporarily loaned baby gear. It would be nice to be able to just borrow some of the things I need for the month or so that I'm there with the baby (now I am thinking it makes sense to just stay through Thanksgiving) and not have to haul everything to New Mexico. Plus, it would be a nice trial run for me to see what I can live without and what I absolutely need. Of course that means, once I get to New Mexico, we'll have to buy some of the things that we had been borrowing.

Note: Rambling tangent ahead! I just had a thought. I was planning on flying back East in December for the holidays to see family one last time before our move to Japan, as well as to show off Ziggy. What if, instead of going from California to New Mexico to Connecticut, I fly directly from California to the East Coast, thereby eliminating one trip. The main drawback is that Ziggy and AC will be separated for longer, which of course is a pretty big drawback. I'm worried that all these frequent trips will be too stressful for both me and Ziggy, but perhaps I should really be worried about AC not having a chance to bond with his son early on. Then, after the holidays, I can fly to New Mexico and remain there until we move to Japan in February. So basically in three short months, Ziggy will have spent about a month living in three different places--poor little guy! Is this plan completely crazy? Should I just stay in California the entire time, as AC has suggested, or fly to New Mexico and then just remain there and forego the trip back East? Anyway, all of this spur-of-the-moment planning is getting in the way of what was supposed to be a focused post on baby gear. Rambling tangent ended!

So, back to the main topic. We haven't yet decided on a baby bed, but I'm pleased to say, we have found a car seat we like. Originally I had thought to just buy a convertible car seat since it will last longer and be cheaper than having to buy both an infant seat and a convertible seat. However, since we wont know what size car we'll have in Japan until we get there and actually buy one, and there's the chance that the convertible seat we choose wont fit in the small Japanese car (I'm especially drawn to the Britax convertible seats, which are huge), I figure it's safer to buy an infant seat for now, because it's more likely to fit in a small car, and buy the convertible seat later, when we actually know what size car we're dealing with. Plus, the fact that the infant car seat can snap out of it's base and become an infant carrier is also a handy feature.

Anyway, after some research online and in the Baby Bargains book, I decided I liked the Graco SnugRide, so AC and I went and checked it out in a store. Once there, we encountered a newer model of the Graco SnugRide, the SnugRide 32, which can accommodate babies up to 32 pounds and 32 inches, and which supposedly fits 97% of one-year-olds (so it would last a lot longer than a typical infant car seat). It also just seemed a lot plusher and more luxurious than the regular Graco SnugRide. We especially liked the Zurich print (I think the brown and green could work for a girl too), which also happens to be the cheapest model on Amazon:



And instead of buying a separate bulky stroller, for now I think we're just going to get a stroller frame, either the Baby Trend Snap N Go or the Graco SnugRider. The Snap N Go seems to be better rated overall, but the SnugRider is guaranteed to fit Graco car seats, so it may be the better choice for us (I tried snapping the car seat into both frames in the store, and it did fit better with the SnugRider). Here is the Snap N Go:



And here is the SnugRider:



Anyway, that's enough baby gear mania for one day! I'll be back with more updates as I figure out what else we need for those first few months.

Week 16: In which I obsess over pregnancy weight gain and travel plans

Yesterday I had my second appointment with Dr. W at 16 weeks, and I'm happy to report that everything continues to go well. Like last time, after I peed into a cup (I wonder what exactly they're measuring when they do this--maybe I should ask next time), I had my weight taken. Warning: Long, obsessive tangent about pregnancy weight gain ahead!

I was up 8 pounds since last time! Granted my appointment was in the afternoon this time rather than in the morning, which could account for a couple of extra pounds of food and fluid, but still, I was a bit surprised. They didn't say anything so I guess it's not a big deal. Honestly I would rather be gaining too much weight rather than too little, since all the pregnancy books I've been reading state that gaining too little weight can seriously affect the baby, while gaining too much weight is usually more a problem for the mother, in terms of her discomfort in the last trimester and difficulty in losing the postpartum weight. Of course gaining too much weight for me probably isn't a great idea since excess weight will put more pressure on my lungs and make it harder for me to breathe, especially in the third trimester.

But I'm not sure there's anything I can really do about it anyway. I exercise almost every day for 30-60 minutes, I only eat when I'm hungry (which I'll admit is pretty often!), I try to eat really healthfully and avoid sweets as much as possible (sometimes I'll have a bite or two of something AC's having, but this is pretty rare), so what exactly could I change? Because of my history of anorexia, I don't want to start going down a road of worrying about my weight and what I eat. One of my fears before doing the IVF was that gaining weight during pregnancy would trigger my eating disorder. So far that hasn't been the case. For the most part I'm enjoying seeing my body expand, but still, when I read about the official guidelines for pregnancy weight gain and how much one's supposed to gain in each trimester, I start to worry that I'm gaining too much too fast. At this rate, am I going to end up a total blimp by week 40?

From talking to other women who have gone through pregnancy, my impression has been that the amount of weight a woman gains during pregnancy is practically predetermined. I've had a number of women tell me that they gained almost exactly the same amount of weight with each pregnancy, that trying to make changes like exercising more or eating less were pretty futile, that not only was the amount of weight they gained the same, but the pace at which they gained it and where they gained it was also the same. I'm sure that extremes of eating, such as starving oneself or eating tons of junk food, can have a significant effect on weight gain during pregnancy, but it seems that as long as you fall somewhere in the middle of eating and exercising normally, then your body will gain the amount of weight it wants to.

According to all the books I've read, weight gain during pregnancy for woman of normal starting weight should be about 25-35 pounds, and since I started out pregnancy at the lower end of normal for my height, I thought it would be safe for me to gain at the upper end of that amount. My mother gained 35 pounds while she was pregnant with me. I was sort of assuming I would be about the same. Well, it seems I may even exceed that! Oh well, I guess I should just get used to the idea.

Anyway, enough obsessing about my weight! Moving on...Dr. W felt the top of my uterus and measured its height, which was normal. Unfortunately I didn't have an ultrasound, but he did pull out the doppler to measure Ziggy's heartbeat. I had actually just listened that very morning with my at home doppler, which made it a little anticlimactic to hear it in the office. But it was still very reassuring to hear that familiar whoosh, and it was nice to get an official measure of the heart rate (168 bpm, which wasn't far off from my estimated measurement of 160 bpm that morning).

I had blood taken for the AFP screen (that's the maternal blood test that can identify babies with open neural tube defects) and also for the Quad screen (the maternal blood test that can identify babies with Down syndrome, Trisomy 18, and open neural tube defects), although I'm not 100% sure about that. I sure hope they did both. I probably should have double checked with them, but my scatterbrained pregnant brain didn't think to ask. I suppose the AFP screen is more important for me since I have a family history of neural tube defects (my paternal grandmother has mild spina bifida, which manifests as severe scoliosis and back pain), whereas there's no family history of Down's or mental retardation. I'm also having my TSH level rechecked to make sure I don't need to adjust my dose of Armour Thyroid. They're only supposed to call today if the AFP screen comes back positive or my level of thyroid medication needs to be adjusted.

Other than that, I discussed travel plans with Dr. W. He said it would be fine for me to fly to the wedding in June, and not to worry about the "swine flu," that it should have pretty much run its course by then. He did say I should be especially vigilant about washing my hands and trying to avoid people who seems sick, but those are things I should be doing anyway. When I asked about traveling throughout the pregnancy, he said it should be fine to fly up until the very end, but that I shouldn't take any long car trips after 34 weeks because of the increased risk of blood clots. I was surprised that he thought flying even in the few weeks before my due date would be fine (all the pregnancy books usually say no domestic flying after 36 weeks).

Since most likely AC will be leaving Little Rock to go to Albuquerque sometime in October (although we don't know the exact dates yet or if AC will even finish his training here on time), we've been trying to figure out exactly what I should do if we have to move during the end of my last trimester. Unfortunately AC can't just fly directly to Albuquerque. First he has to drive back to Corpus Christi, since that's still considered his permanent duty station, take care of all the necessary out-processing paperwork, and make decisions about our possessions (what we want shipped to Japan, and what we want put in permanent storage). Then he has to drive to Albuquerque, possibly with a trailer hitched to the car dragging some of our stuff. All in all, I'm guessing it will take him at least 10 days, if not two weeks, to get to Albuquerque.

I'll be 34 weeks as of September 24th, and I really doubt that AC will be done with his training by then and ready to go to Corpus. So the question for us is, since I can't accompany him on the car trip, do I fly to Albuquerque and wait for AC there? I wont have a car, I wont know anyone, including my doctors, I don't know how I'll be able to get to my doctor appointments, I'll be completely alone for two weeks, and basically, it will just suck. Or do I spend those two weeks waiting here in Little Rock and then fly to Albuquerque once AC arrives there? Most of the same problems will still remain. Since we're planning on loaning one of our cars to a military couple (they will probably come here to pick it up sometime this summer), I wont have a car, I wont have any of our stuff because AC will have driven it all to Corpus, and I'll be all alone. The only benefit to remaining here during that time is that I'll know my doctors, but I don't know how I'll be able to get to my appointments without a car.

The final option, and the one I think we're seriously considering, is to have me fly to California to stay with my mom while AC's on the road. Once he gets to Albuquerque, I can either remain in California and deliver there or else fly to join him, depending on my health, what the doctors recommend, and how far along I am in the pregnancy. Albuquerque is at a higher altitude, so that might have a negative effect on my lungs during the third trimester and might be a reason not to go there. Meanwhile the benefits of remaining in California are numerous: the weather and climate agree with my health, I'll have access to my mom's car, I know the area, and quite a few things are within walking distance, I have doctors (especially pulmonary) that know me there and could recommend a good MFM, I have a few friends there that I could spend time with, it would be nice to spend some time with my mom, especially since we'll be leaving for Japan in February...Anyway, really the only disadvantage is that I would be away from AC (of course that's a pretty big disadvantage). He would of course fly to California for the birth and use his 10 days of paternity leave and maybe his saved leave as well to extend his stay. Well, we have a lot to think about and decide. Hopefully as AC's training progresses we'll have a better idea of when he'll be done here.

Anyway, assuming my AFP screen is normal, I return to Dr. W's office on June 18th for my week 20 appointment and for the "big" ultrasound, where we'll get to know the sex (assuming that Ziggy is cooperating of course)! Yay! If we bring a DVD, we can also have the ultrasound recorded. I can hardly wait! Ok, this post has gotten way too long, so I'll stop here. I guess this is what happens when I don't update for a week!

A Tentative Timeline of Our Travels

Nov. 21st: AC returns from SERE, only a little worse for the wear (nursing a scratched cornea that is supposed to heal cleanly, I hope!).

Nov. 22nd: A fun day of eating, hiking, and walking around our Alma Mater (there's so much new construction going on, it's crazy!).

Nov. 23: AC and I fly back to Corpus Christi.

Nov. 24-Dec. 1st: A frantic week of packing, cleaning the apartment, finishing my web site for my class, etc. Sadly I don't think we'll have a real Thanksgiving this year :(

Dec. 1st: Movers come pack up our stuff and put it in storage. We clean the apartment, turn in our keys, and check into lodging on base for the night.

Dec. 2nd: I go to Family Practice to have my overseas medical clearance form signed (which basically means that my health needs can be met by the facilities in Okinawa), we drive both cars (packed with all the stuff we'll need in Little Rock plus for our month long trip to the East Coast) to Austin for the night (~3.5 hrs.), I get online for my mandatory 3 hour final class meeting to present my final website to the class, and we collapse exhausted into bed.

Dec. 3rd: Drive both cars to LR (~8 hrs.), have dinner with AC's friend who's stationed there, and find a place to safely stow my car for the month it will be sitting there unattended (note to self: make sure jumper cables are in car in case it's completely dead upon AC's return).

Dec. 4th: Drive to Urbana, IL (~8 hrs., but in one car, thank goodness!) to spend the night and have dinner with my two cousins, J & M.

Dec. 5th: Drive to South Bend, IN (only ~3.5 hrs.) to spend the night at AC's aunt's place (his cousin from Chicago will also be there).

Dec. 6th: Drive to Cleveland, OH (~4 hrs., but the end is almost in sight!) to spend the weekend with AC's aunt, uncle, and two cousins, and drop off his car to leave with them for at least the next 4 years (I wonder if AC will experience separation anxiety from his beloved Neo?).

Dec. 8th: AC's aunt drives us to the airport, we fly into Manchester and rent a car to drive to Hanscomb, AFB where we finally get to see the Guimess!

Dec. 8-14th: Spending time with the Guimess and various other friends in the Boston area.

Dec. 14th or 15th: Either drive (NOOOOO!!! No more driving, I can't stand it!) or take the train (Yes, yes, more expensive, but oh so worth it, especially if the roads are icy!) or Chinese bus (hmmm, a possibility...) to NYC.

Dec. 15th on...:Seeing friends in NYC, spending time with my dad and his girlfriend, staying in their small but cozy (isn't that just a nice way of saying cramped?) 1-bedroom, nearly half-a-million dollar apartment that's just a block from Central Park.

Dec. 17th: Celebrate my dad's birthday (meanwhile my mom and step-dad arrive from CA and Moscow respectively).

Dec. 18th-26th: More time in NYC, but also in Stamford preparing for and then celebrating Christmas (although there's not much to prepare this year since we've decided on no tree or presents, just food), spending time with relatives, reconnecting with old friends from high school.

Dec. 27th: Mom and step-dad fly to CA for conference, AC and I return to NYC.

Dec. 28th-Jan 1st.: More frolicking in the big apple, celebrating New Year's, etc.

Jan. 2nd: Drive or preferably take the train to Philadelphia, spend time with friends in Philly/NJ.

Jan. 5th: AC flies to LR, I return to NYC via train.

Jan 5th-?: I spend time in NYC with dad, etc.

Jan. 13th: First appointment with REI to discuss IVF.

Apr. 4th: AC's cousin gets married in Maryland, we'll try to attend if possible.

May 20th: AC's school in LR ends.

May 21st-Jul 20th: AC returns to CC.

Jun. 27th: AC's friend gets married in MD; AC will definitely attend, while I'll attend if possible.

Jul. 21st: AC must report to New Mexico for additional training (he'll most likely drive my car to NM from CC).

Nov. 6th: AC graduates from NM training, drives my car to CA where it will be stored for three years while we're in Okinawa.

Nov. 30th: AC must report to Okinawa, and I'll join him as soon as I (and hopefully the baby) can.

Whew! What a year! A good deal of what happens this year and where I'll be will depend on whether the IVF works, how long it takes, whether I can fly and join AC, where I end up delivering (most likely at Yale New Haven in the very same hospital where I was born!), etc. This will no doubt be an exciting, but exhausting, year for us both. Looking at this schedule makes me feel a bit overwhelmed at times. It will be especially difficult for me to be separated from AC for so long if the worst case scenario is that I get pregnant but have to remain in NYC the whole time due to my health. AC is going to try to fly and visit me as much as possible if I can't travel. It seems crazy to try to accomplish IVF during this hectic time when AC will be in 4 different locations over the course of the year. However, if we were to delay IVF until later when we're in Okinawa and AC is deployable, there's no guarantee he'd be around for much of the pregnancy or birth either. If I undergo IVF in NYC, at least I'll be surrounded by family, many of whom are/were doctors (my dad's girlfriend is and my grandmother was an OB/GYN) who can take care of me and look after me in case anything goes wrong. In the end, if the result is a healthy, happy baby, it will all be worth it!

Inaugural Post

I've been meaning to start a blog for a while now but several things (mainly procrastination and a general sense of "who in the world would want to read what I have to say anyway?") have prevented me from taking the plunge. Fortunately, one of the assignments for my current class on web site design, building, and programming (Libr. 240-03: Information Technology Tools and Applications) is to set up a blog. In my case, I plan to actually use it.

Since AC and I move around so frequently and have friends and family scattered across much of the country (and even the world), this blog will serve as a convenient and easy means of staying in touch with loved ones and offering them a glimpse into our rather mundane lives. Moreover, since AC and I will be separated more often in the months and years to come, given his recent airframe and location assignment (yay for MC-130P Combat Shadow flying out of Kadena AB!) and our decision to attempt IVF this coming year (more on that to come in a later post), it will be nice to have this blog as a means of staying connected, not to mention as a chronicle of my IVF exprience.

When AC spent a quarter studying abroad in Moscow, I found his blog invaluable in allowing me at least some involvement in his world. What with the extreme time difference and high cost of overseas calls (not to mention that the satellite kept dropping our calls after exactly 29 minutes--yes, we timed it!), it was often the only contact I had with him. Our upcoming move to Okinawa next November will also necessitate an easy way for us to share photos and updates with family and friends on the other side of the globe.

Lastly, as someone with a rare genetic chronic illness (Kartagener's Syndrome/Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia), I hope that this blog will provide some insight for those who share my condition or want to learn more, especially as regards KS/PCD, IVF, and infertility.