New Year's Resolutions for 2010

1. Lose the baby weight! I have about 15 pounds to go, not bad considering I gained over 45 while pregnant. I don't even care so much about the number on the scale, but it would be nice to be able to fit into some of my old clothes. My wardrobe is shockingly limited these days!
2. Even more important than losing the baby weight is getting physically fit. Since I broke my wrist before becoming pregnant, I entered the pregnancy with a weaker upper body than usual. Now that I have to tote around an increasingly heavy baby who is growing at an astonishing rate, I've realized that I really need to strengthen my arms, shoulders, back, and core. Which means I need to find time to exercise regularly, including getting back to doing yoga. Aside from nearly daily walks,kegels, and trying to draw my navel toward my spine whenever I think of it, I haven't done much exercise since baby's arrival.
   
3. Learn how to cook healthy but tasty meals that both meat-eating AC and I will enjoy (obviously this wont really be necessary until we get to Japan and are finally settled in our own home). This past year I have not had the opportunity or the means to cook much, and I am starting to miss it. I've been thinking about buying The Flexitarian Table: Inspired, Flexible Meals for Vegetarians, Meat Lovers, and Everyone in Between. I think it might be the solution to feeding a carnivorous husband who doesn't always enjoy my vegetarian fare.
   
4. Stick to a budget, especially when it comes to grocery shopping. Now that we have a baby and will be living in expensive Japan, I am going to have to be more careful about spending money.
   
5. Establish a schedule for keeping the house clean. This year was unusual in that I often didn't have to do the cleaning (such as when I was living in NYC with my dad, at our family house in CT, or here in CA with my mom), which was really nice. But once we move to Japan and have our own place, I'll have to reestablish a routine. I also need to get over my all or nothing attitude when it comes to keeping house. I either clean everything obsessively or let everything go, but with a baby I'll have to take a more balanced approach to making sure the place is clean enough without going overboard.
6. Cultivate my own interests. Both for my own sake and to set a good example for the baby, I need to ensure that I maintain and possibly expand my current interests and creative pursuits.
   
7. Get out of the house and explore! I have a tendency to be a homebody, but again, in order to set a good example for the baby and to enrich his life, I need to try new things.
8. Make new friends and stay in touch with old friends. With AC gone a lot in Japan, I'll need the support of friends near and far.
   
9. Try to blog more regularly, although I realize with a baby, it certainly wont be as often as before.
10. Be the best mother I can be without beating myself up over my inevitable mistakes. Basically, I want to be a "good enough" mother.
    

I don't normally do the whole New Year's Resolution thing, but I thought it might be fun to have some goals to motivate me this year. I have to say, 2009 was a great year! I finally became pregnant and my wish for a baby was fulfilled. I'm interested to see how 2010 goes for our little family this year. We'll finally be stationed at a base longer than 8 months and will have a chance to settle in to a community, a home, a way of life for once. It will also be my first real experience with living the life of an active duty spouse as AC will be gone a lot on TDYs and possibly deployments. Plus, there will be a new member of the family to consider in every decision that we make. I'm both excited about and apprehensive of our upcoming move. However 2010 turns out, it will certainly be different than any year thus far!

36 Weeks: Less Than One Month to Go!

I am 36 weeks today, so only 1 week until Ziggy is considered full term! Despite not having an appointment with my MFM this week, there's a lot to report. First off, AC flew here last Thursday and we were able to attend a free Birth Center Orientation & Expectant Parent's Night at the hospital where I'll deliver, which consisted of a useful presentation on car seat safety and inspection (I have my car seat fitting appointment set for Tuesday, October 27th, only 10 days before my due date), a video tour of the birth center (AC was disappointed that we didn't actually get to tour labor and delivery), a question and answer session with one of the labor nurses, and a presentation and Q & A with an OB anesthesiologist (turned out to be the same guy I met with a few weeks ago). A pediatrician was also scheduled to speak, but ended up not making it, which was just as well, since the session wound up lasting longer than expected.

I wont go too in depth into exactly what happened, but suffice it to say that the crowd here in Palo Alto is quite different from the one we encountered in Little Rock at our prenatal classes. That is to say, more educated and informed, but also more demanding and controlling. I almost laughed out loud several times at the degree of specificity that some of these expectant parents were demanding. One woman kept asking the anesthesiologist for extremely specific and detailed information about exactly how the various pain relieving methods work on the anatomical level. At one point AC turned and whispered to me that maybe she should go to medical school and become an anesthesiologist herself. I'm all for being informed and educated and I personally find medical knowledge fascinating (I did ask many questions of the same anesthesiologist during our private meeting), but there's no need to completely monopolize a public discussion.

There was also a lot of concern expressed over the possibility of residents and fellows, rather than an attending, performing procedures like epidurals or the delivery of the baby. Well, Stanford is a teaching hospital, and if you don't like that aspect, why not go somewhere else? Personally I have no problem with residents performing procedures as long as they're supervised (watch me bite my tongue later when something goes wrong during my labor and delivery that was caused by a resident's mistake!). So far I've been very impressed with the 4th year medical students who have seen me during my OB appointments.

Anyway, as AC put it, these people were just a lot more entitled than the ones in Arkansas, who I think were a little too passive, uninvolved, and uninformed. I also have to say that the quality of the presentations here was also superior to what we received in Little Rock. No wonder that the cost of one class here is more than the entire series of prenatal classes in Arkansas! Good thing this one was free!

On Friday I attended my second prenatal yoga class (I forget to mention that I went last week). The regular teacher was out last week attending a birth since she also serves as an occasional doula, but unfortunately the woman she was tending to ended up having a cesarean after 30 hours of labor (after 20 hours, she finally agreed to an epidural). Another woman in the class said that she had to have a c-section after two days of unmedicated labor with her first, so with this baby she was planning on switching hospitals (she delivered her first at Stanford and made it sound as if the hospital was to blame for her c-section). I have also heard from SH and from another doula who is not gung-ho pro natural that most of the women they see who try for unmedicated natural births end up with c-sections (the exact opposite of natural). Of course there are plenty of women who have successful unmedicated births, but it does make you wonder if sometimes the intense quest to avoid medication at all costs actually hinders the birth process when the labor is especially long and hard and pain relief might actually help the woman relax and gain strength so that her labor can progress.

Anyway, moving on! On Tuesday I had my weekly non stress test (it went fine and was completely uneventful save for Ziggy kicking the monitors like crazy!), which was observed by a third year student nurse. He had a case study assignment and asked if I would mind answering some questions for him. I told him about Kartagener's Syndrome, the IVF, my overall health, how the pregnancy has been progressing, etc. He seemed surprised at how much I knew about my own health condition, but honestly I was surprised at how little he seemed to know about medicine in general. I get that he's a student and he's still learning, but I kept having to define medical terms for him and explain myself in simpler terms than I'm used to when dealing with medical personnel. It got me thinking that maybe I should have been a nurse myself, but I know that the horrible hours (12 hour night shifts) and the constant exposure to sick people would not be good for my health.

In other news, this was another week for acquiring more baby stuff. A set of 10 reusable nursing pads from Udder Covers TM arrived in the mail. With a special online promo code, they ended up costing less than one dollar a pair! I also went ahead and finally ordered the Graco Snugride 32 infant car seat online, which to my surprise arrived the very next day. However, I am going to end up returning it since my very generous third cousin (from my Russian side of the family) who lives here in the Bay Area offered me her used car seat.

I called her on Monday and we arranged to meet up Wednesday (yesterday) at a park with her two-year old daughter (also conceived through IVF and delivered naturally at 36 weeks). She generously offered to lend me a ton of her baby stuff and even brought several items with her to give me right then and there. So now I have in my possession a Chicco KeyFit infant car seat (brand new when purchased two years ago and has never been in an accident), an infant bath tub, an infant neck support for use in the car seat or baby carrier, a baby towel, a couple of maternity sweaters and warmer tops, a prenatal yoga DVD and a postpartum Pilates DVD. Apparently there's a lot more stuff she wants to give me when I go over to her house next Wednesday evening. She is planning on trying for a second child with her frozen embryos next year, so I'll be returning everything to her before we leave for Japan, but I am so grateful to her for lending me these items temporarily. It will make things so much easier when we move and also give us a better idea of what we absolutely need to buy ourselves and what we can live without.

Finally I just wanted to mention that yet again I think I might be coming down with something. My left sinus and ear have been especially stuffed up this week and yesterday I started to develop a sore throat, so I'm wondering if I might have a sinus infection brewing. I see my pulmonologist tomorrow, and I'll ask him for a referral to an ENT who's covered by my insurance. The ENT I normally see here is great but he's out of network, and after the whole billing fiasco with the out-of-network orthopedist in New York when I broke my wrist (long, boring, and frustrating story that I don't want to go into here), I'm determined to stay in-network whenever possible.

Lastly I think I'm developing carpel tunnel or something, especially in my left hand. Both my hands, but especially the left one, will go numb if I grasp or hold something tightly. During the night I frequently feel like my hands are numb and tingly. I know this is just due to accumulated fluid from swelling pressing on the nerves, but it's still unpleasant. The other day I had an especially salty dinner and then went for a walk with my mom, and my hands really swelled up--they looked like sausages! I was relieved when the swelling went down after I drank a bunch of water and rested, but I think I need to be more wary of my salt consumption from here on out.

Anyway, that's all for this week! Sorry for the super long post. Maybe I'll try to post more frequently this week so as to avoid such long posts in the future.

To culminate or not to culminate, that is the excruciating question...

According to my various pregnancy tickers, I have only 99 days left until Ziggy's due date! 99 days of freedom, some might say. Not that I view having a baby as a prison sentence or anything, but I do realize that my life is going to change drastically once the little guy is here. Which brings me to my question: how should I spend these next 3 months? AC and my parents are pressuring me to finally finish my masters degree this fall. I have only one class, the dreaded culminating experience, left to complete, which requires a substantial amount of work. Basically, I need to create an e-portfolio of some of the work I've done in the program, showing how I fulfilled 14 competencies, which will entail writing about 16 short essays and possibly over 100 pages. On the one had, I would love to just be done with it all before Ziggy is born. But on the other hand, I can't imagine spending the last precious months of my pregnancy stressing about school work. So, in order to clarify the issue in my mind and reach some sort of conclusion, I've decided to make a list of the pros and cons of enrolling for Fall 2009.

Pros:

If I pass, I can finally kiss this master's program goodbye and move on with my life.

I'll have a master's degree (specifically an MLIS), which might come in handy later on if I decide to or need to go back to work, even if I don't work in a library setting. For example, some universities will only hire yoga instructors who have a master's degree.

AC and my parents will finally get off my back about completing my degree.

I will serve as a good role model for Ziggy (AC pointed this one out, not me!).

It will give me something to do, to occupy my time while I wait for the little guy to arrive. I may end up feeling pretty bored in California if my mom is occupied with her own work, and friends are too busy to see me. Plus, if I don't have a car, I will be stuck at home a lot or at the mercy of my mother to drive me around.

It won't be any easier (in fact, it will be harder) to complete the e-portfolio once I have a baby to look after. Basically, I'm worried that if I don'd do this now, I'll never finish it.

I've already invested a lot of time, money, and energy into this program, and it would be a shame to throw all of that away.

I'll feel embarrased and ashamed to admit to others that I gave up completing the program.

If I submit and pass 10 of the 14 competencies, I can get an incomplete and finish the remainder of the work over the next year, which would probably be doable if difficult, what with the baby and the move to Japan.

If I don't enroll in classes this semester, I'll have to reapply in order to finish the degree (the university only allows you to skip one semester at a time without taking official leave due to illness, military orders, or educational endeavors before making you reapply to the program, and I've already skipped this past spring semeter). Reapplying wont be too hard, but it will be annoying, especially to have to do it from Japan, and I wont be able to reapply until 2011 since California's buget cuts prevent the school from accepting any applications for 2010.

What with the budget cuts and California's current economic crisis, it seems like it might be wise to quickly finish the degree before the program goes belly up, they hike the tuition or make any other changes that could affect my completion of the degree.

The worst case scenario is that I end up never completing the degree and regret it later in life. Can I live with that?

Cons:

Pregnancy brain has made me stupid. I feel like it's a huge effort to think coherently. I've become really forgetful lately, which is unusual for me, and feel like I can't think clearly. Not good when trying to finish a master's degree!

My sleep is erratic--sometimes it's great, sometimes not. When it's not, I am basically useless for the next day or two (or three--these days, it seems to take me a lot longer to recover from sleep deprivation), have trouble thinking and concentrating, feel out of it, and can't imagine getting any academic work done. It's likely my insomnia will only get worse as I progress with my pregnancy.

There is still a lot to be done to prepare for Ziggy's arrival. I need to do a lot more research on baby gear and make some final decisions about certain purchases. Reading online reviews, browsing Craigslist and SU Market (Stanford University's version of Craigslist) for deals on baby gear and then arranging to pick the items up, scouting out stores for deals on baby gear, trying to hit up a few people in California to borrow stuff, buying and setting up everything we need for Ziggy's arrival (even if we get only the bare minimum, there is still quite a bit to do), etc.

I need to educate myself about how to take care of a newborn. This will entail lots of reading, viewing of DVDs, and taking of classes, such as infant CPR.

I need to exercise and move as much as possible for my lung health (this is according to my pulmonologist in California), so spending hours sitting in front of my computer probably wouldn't be the best thing for me. Once I'm in California I plan on doing a lot of walking as the weather and surroundings will be a lot more conducive to taking walks. I also want to take some prenatal yoga classes (they don't have any here in Little Rock). Basically I need to avoid a sedentary lifestyle as much as possible.

Even now when I don't use my computer that much, I find that my wrists will frequently bother me. My right wrist (the one I broke this past winter) is especially prone to acting up. Hours on the computer will only make these problems worse and, combined with the tendency of pregnant women to develop carpel tunnel syndrome in the third trimester due to swelling, almost guarantees that my wrists and hands will be in constant pain. Not to mention that once Ziggy arrives, I'll have to pick him up and carry him all the time, which will be really hard if my hands and wrists are already so destroyed.

Schoolwork stresses me out terribly, and everyone says that stress is bad for the baby, especially in the last trimester. Baby feels what you feel. I don't want to have a stressed out pregnancy, baby, or postpartum period.

Ziggy is due on November 5, and the e-portfolio is due on November 17. Of course Ziggy might be late, like I was, but if he's early or even on time, most likely I wont be able to finish by the deadline and at best will get an incomplete (I need to submit and pass at least 10 of the 14 competencies to get an incomplete) and at worst, a No Credit.

I feel totally unprepared to tackle this e-portfolio business. I know I should have been working systematically on it this entire year, but procrastination got the better of me. I also don't honestly feel like I can show proficiency in all of the competencies. I deeply regret not taking certain classes, like cataloging.

The whole point of the e-portfolio is to show off the work you've done in the program and present it to prospective employers in a way that makes them want to hire you. Since I don't plan on working as a librarian anytime soon (or possibly ever) and since I ended up realizing that the profession is not really right for me and that I didn't get much out of the program, I'd basically have to bs my way through the entire thing. Unfortunately I am not very good at bsing.

I am out of practice when it comes to writing, especially academic writing. The last class I took in the program (last fall) was on web design, so it didn't involve any paper writing (part of the reason I chose it as a matter of fact).

I don't have a good, ergonomic setup for my computer here or in California. Spending so much time working on a laptop wont be good for my wrists, back, neck, shoulders, eyes, or body in general. Combined with the aches and pains of pregnancy as I get larger and further along, I could end up being really uncomfortable by the end.

I have no motivation to finish the degree and could care less about having an MLIS.

I want to enjoy what's left of my pregnancy, to talk, sing, and read to Ziggy, to concentrate on feeling him move, and to bond with him before he arrives.

I want to enjoy this trip to California, since it may be the last time I get to spend a substantial amount of time there for a while. I want to spend as much time outside as possible, taking walks and observing the beautiful scenery and the fall foliage, especially since I've spent the summer mostly indoors here in hot, humid Arkansas. I want to see as many friends as possible and take advantage of all there is to do in that part of the country.

I want to rest, relax, enjoy myself, and do as many of those activities as I possibly can that I wont be able to do once the baby comes, like go to the movies, go out to eat, or hang out with friends. Once Ziggy is born, I'll be exhausted, sleep-deprived, and pretty much tied to being at home with the baby. Again, I have no problem with this--I'm prepared for it and even looking forward to it in an odd way. But it does make me feel like I don't want to waste these last few months doing something I'll hate.

Schoolwork not only stresses me out, it puts me in a perpetually bad mood. AC always says I'm a much nicer person and much more pleasant to be around when I'm not a student!

The last time I visited my mom, my computer had a really hard time connecting with her wireless network, so most of the time my internet connection was really unreliable. I definitely need reliable internet access to complete my e-portfolio.

I have no way of knowing what will happen in the third trimester as regards my health and my pregnancy. If I end up getting sick, end up in the hospital, or have premature labor and delivery, this could postpone or prevent my completion of the e-portfolio.

I am out of practice with doing schoolwork and being disciplined about deadlines. My life has been pretty easy since I've come to Little Rock. My days are very relaxed and laid-back, but I still have enough to do to keep me occupied and not bored. Basically, I have gotten lazy and undisciplined, and it's going to be difficult to get back into the student and schoolwork mindset.

The worst case scenario is that, after busting my butt to finish the e-portfolio before Ziggy is born, I end up not passing and getting a NC, which means I'll have to reregister, repay, and redo most of the work later. Ugh!

After reading through all these points, I still have no idea what I want to do. My mind wavers constantly between thinking, "There's no way I can do this" and "Won't it be nice to just get this done and out of the way?" Ahhh, I feel like I'm going crazy! It's pathetic, I am a fully grown woman about to have a baby, and yet I feel like a child myself. I want to just pull the covers over my head and wish this whole e-portfolio nonsense away. Or I want someone to take my hand and lead me through the process step by step, guiding and encouraging me constantly along the way. Geez, I am so pathetic! My mother was writing her doctorate while pregnant with me, and she finished it a few months after I was born. Clearly the apple can fall very far from the tree!

Anyway, thinking and writing about this is making me depressed. I'll finish this for now, but will probably write more about this soon. I need to make a decision by August 16, the deadline for enrolling in classes.

AC's Eye and More Crazy Planning

Ac had his surgery yesterday, and is now at home in Little Rock recuperating on Percocet, which unfortunately makes him very nauseous and dizzy. He'd like to not take it, but I told him the pain would probably soon convince him otherwise. Can you believe AC was awake during the surgery! They numbed his eye, used some kind of device to keep his eye open, and then the doctor scraped away at it. She removed 75% of his epithelium, which shows just how damaged his cornea was. According to the doctor, a normal, healthy epithelium would remain intact. This just goes to show those stupid military docs that they were wrong--it wasn't going to heal on it's own. They really make me so mad sometimes!

But, anyway, the surgery's done, and supposedly there's a 95% success rate, so I really hope this does the trick for his eye. He goes back on Monday for a follow-up appointment. The healing process should take about two weeks, after which point I guess AC will join another class and get back to his training.

I can't wait to join him in Little Rock! Our crazy tentative plan for getting me there is as follows. AC's cousin is getting married in Maryland on April 4 (the day before my birthday :) and we both plan on attending. Since I should be released from Dr. M's care on March 31, the plan is that on Friday, April 3, I'll drive AC's car down to Maryland with all my stuff in it, pick AC up at the airport (he'll fly in from Little Rock), and then go check in at the Navy lodge where we'll be staying. On Sunday, after all the wedding festivities are over, we'll drive to the Philadelphia area to drop off the car with some military friends who really need a second car (okay, this part of the plan hasn't been confirmed yet--AC really needs to get in touch with said military friend to see if he still wants/needs the car and if that weekend would be a good time to drop it off). We'll then fly out of Philadelphia to Little Rock. Of course, if said military friend doesn't want/need the car, then I'll probably have to fly to Maryland and just leave AC's car here in CT. Honestly, I think I prefer the driving plan at this point. Air travel never does my sinuses, lungs, and ears any good, and it will be difficult to get all my stuff on to the plane, etc. with my bum wrist and the fact that I'm not supposed to lift anything too heavy, being pregnant and all. If I drive, I can have my grandparents help me load my stuff into the car and then AC can unload it on the other end. Anyway, I'll keep updating as I know more about the details.

More Good News

The cast is off! But more importantly the blood work today showed my progesterone level at 33.3 and my hCG at 6933! And best of all, I got to see the yolk sac on the ultrasound. It didn't look like much (just a black oval), but it was exactly where it's supposed to be in my uterus. Because of my increased risk of ectopic pregnancy (due to my PCD), Dr. M placed the embryo low in my uterus when he did the transfer so it wouldn't float back into the tubes. And it worked! Little Ziggy (that's what AC wants to call the baby until we know the gender :) is right where s/he's supposed to be! I return next Tuesday when we should be able to see the baby and hear the heartbeat! Dr. M says he'll release me in 3 weeks, maybe even sooner if everything looks good. The sonographer was surprised that my ovaries had already returned to their normal size, but I guess they bounced back fast because I didn't hyper-stimulate at all.

Even though originally I had planned on staying on the East Coast during the pregnancy because of the highly recommended MFM in New Haven, AC and I have decided that it's just too hard to be apart for so long, especially when I'm pregnant. So the new plan is for me join AC in Little Rock once Dr. M releases me and be followed by an MFM there. I've already started looking into some doctors there. Since AC's training has been delayed so much due to his eye, it looks like he'll be in Little Rock until July or August. Most likely I'll go with him to Albuquerque as well, where I'll deliver the baby in early November.

As for AC's eye, it's been acting up again (basically he's been on medical leave for over a month now), but at least the military doctors finally started to take it seriously and referred him to a corneal specialist. He's having eye surgery on Thursday and will be in pain (the same severity as when he first injured his eye) for about 5 days. At least he'll be given prescription pain killers. I wish I could be there to take care of him but Dr. M said definitely no flying until we see a good strong heartbeat.

Anyway, that's all the news for now. It's hard to believe I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant! Crazy!

Happy Update

Wonderful news! The blood test on Wednesday measured my Beta hCG at 1100 and my progesterone at 14! So it looks like I am out of the danger zone for now--phew, what a relief! Dr. M wants to see my progesterone go even higher so I started progesterone in oil shots on Thursday. They have to be injected into my gluteal muscle, which hurts a bit, but it's all worth it for baby :) While AC is here, he can administer the injections, but I'll have to do them myself once he leaves on Monday (that may be a bit tricky, especially with one arm in a cast!). My next appointment for both blood work and ultrasound is on Tuesday. I also get my cast off on that day. Yay! I also just wanted to mention that I am 5 weeks pregnant as of Thursday! Hard to believe, huh?! I will post pictures of my 5 week belly when I get a chance later this week. My plan is to take pictures and post them every week so we can all see how my belly grows.

25 random (and boring) things about me (as seen on Facebook)

1. I am a worry wart. Case in point: I've spent the last few days worrying that no one would tag me in a "25 Random Things" note and grant me the opportunity to reveal my soul to the Facebook community.

2. I had never broken a bone until last week when I fractured my right wrist after slipping and falling on some ice. Currently typing this with my left hand.

3. I've never had a cavity, and I hope to keep it that way. Flossing is a regular part of my daily routine.

4. I have situs inversus totalis (all of my internal organs are reversed, so I'm like the mirror image of a "normal" person). It's part of a larger condition called Kartagener's Syndrome or Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia, a rare autosomal recessive genetic disorder which effects the cilia lining the respiratory tract and fallopian tubes. Basically it means I have lots of lung, sinus, and ear problems. I'm infertile as well.

5. I've had lung surgery, sinus surgery, and more ear surgeries than I can count (see above). One of my earliest memories is of going into surgery with my "My Little Pony" clutched tightly in my hand and then waking up and vomiting from the anesthesia.

6. I suffered from anorexia when I was 12 and 13 and stopped menstruating for over a year. I ended up being hospitalized for more than half a year because of complications with my lungs from malnutrition (see above), which left me with permanently damaged lungs. I also have osteopenia (low bone mineral density) as a result.

7. I met my husband on the steps of Memorial Auditorium at Stanford's Admit Weekend when we were both 18 and still in high school. We started dating at the beginning of Freshman year and have been together ever since. We got married on June 17th, 2006. He's the absolute best thing that's ever happened to me :)

8. There is a photograph of me sitting on Richard Feynman's lap when I was 3 somewhere in our family albums. Sadly I have no memory of this momentous occasion and my proximity to greatness. Feynman dated my grandmother and used to play with my mom and aunt when they were little.

9. I wore braces for 3 years from 5th-8th grade, had them put on and taken off 3 times, and had 3 orthodontists who all insisted that the previous doctor had had no idea what he was doing. I still wear my retainer to bed every night.

10. I never imagined I'd marry a man in uniform and be a military spouse. So far I like it. Ask me again when he deploys for the first time.

11. I'm an atheist and a liberal democrat, which means I keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself a lot of the time when I'm around military people.

12. I'm an only child who always wanted siblings, which is why I plan to have at least two kids.

13. I had my ears pierced in 8th grade but never wear earrings because they make my ears infected. In general jewelry makes my skin break out in a rash, which is why I gave up wearing it altogether. I'm probably allergic to nickel.

14. When I was 8 years old, I was almost kidnapped/sexually molested by a creepy guy with a goatee while on a ski trip with my dad in Vermont. Understandably, my mom was really mad at him for leaving me alone while he caught the last ski lift up the mountain.

15. My parents got divorced when I was 4, and my mom remarried when I was 6, but I saw my dad a lot growing up since he lived only an hour away in NYC. I've come to realize that my parents make much better friends than marriage partners.

16. Things I am ashamed to admit: I never learned how to touch type. I can't whistle. I've never had an orgasm (sorry, TMI, I know!). I tend to be critical of others. I hold grudges. I've forgotten a lot of my Russian. I take people for granted. I'm prone to jealousy. I have a bad habit of picking at pimples.

17. I have never smoked or taken any illicit drugs, and I almost never drink. It's not for any moral reason; I just can't stand the taste of alcohol.

18. Because of my Kartagener's Syndrome, I have a really bad sense of smell. Chances are if you ask me how something smells, and I give you a reply other than "I can't smell anything," I'm probably lying.

19. I was a lacto-ovo vegetarian for 8 years. I started eating fish on a trip to Russia, and since then have been a "pescaterian," although recently I've considered going back to strict vegetarianism.

20. My weight fluctuated a lot during high school and college but finally settled down once I got married. I've been told that marriage "suits me."

21. Most of the women in my family (especially on my mother's side) are well-endowed. Sadly I did not inherit this trait.

22. If I could have any superpower, it would be invisibility.

23. I find a lot of food to be too sweet or too salty for my taste. My husband totally doesn't get this.

24. I recently received my yoga certification from a mean and crazy 70 year old woman in Corpus Christ, TX whom I hope to never, ever meet again.

25. I was born in New Haven, CT, but grew up in Stanford, CA and Stamford, CT. Since marrying Andy, we've lived in a bunch of hot places: California City, CA, Montgomery, AL, Del Rio, TX, Corpus Christi, TX, Little Rock, AR, and Okinawa, Japan is next!

Lame Update

This will just be a quick update because I'm tired and my left wrist hurts (since now it has to do everything). Last night I took my first dose of Follistim 200 IU. Today I already felt a lot more emotional and on the verge of tears (but this could have more to do with my father driving me crazy than with the hormones!). Today I also had my appointment with the hand surgeon who saw me last week at the Hospital for Joint Diseases. He removed my splint, took some x-rays, and put a more permanent cast on my arm. It's a pretty blue color, and I can actually get it wet, although it will take 3 hours to dry, so I'm not sure how often I want to do that! I'm supposed to continue to rest and keep it elevated for a couple of days, but then I can start using that hand more. Of course my thumb is immobilized, which means I can't grasp anything, but I guess I can use my fingers a bit. I'll be back to see him in 5 weeks to have the cast removed. Other than that, there was the usual BS with the insurance, which I don't really feel like posting about. Right now I'm just tired, and my wrist hurts. Thank goodness tomorrow I don't have to go anywhere! I'mplanning on taking it easy and relaxing before my next appointment with Dr. M on Thursday.

A Hairy Mess

Having only the use of my left hand is proving to be quite a challenge, although perhaps this experience is helping me to prepare for the rigors of pregnancy, labor, and child-rearing (at least I keep telling myself that!). Here is a short list of what I've learned during this first week of life with one hand: patience, my limitations, what is absolutely necessary, to ask for help when I need it, to prepare things in advance, to let things go. And, more concretely, I quickly realized that there was no way my hair would survive this experience!

One day I spent two hours trying to brush out my tangled hair and ended up ripping out what seemed like half of it. Then I had to wait for my dad to wake up to ask him to braid it for me so it wouldn't immediately become a tangled mess again. Of course a night of sleeping on my braid turned it back into a rat's nest (unfortunately my hair's natural texture combined with the dry winter air makes this inevitable at this time of year). Plus, because I can't get my splint wet, it hadn't been washed in a week. My hair also hadn't been cut since last Christmas and was riddled with split ends and starting to look scraggly, so when SH offered to take me downstairs to their gay hairdresser, Martino, (who illegally styles hair out of his apartment...shhh, don't tell!) for a wash and a trim, I readily agreed.

It was so nice to be able to just walk down one flight of stairs in my slippers to get my hair done. I also loved that there was no smell of harsh chemicals in the air. Instead there was soothing classical music, a box of Sea's chocolates, and Martino's amiable chatter. He ended up taking eight inches off, so now my hair ends at my shoulder blades. I was a bit nervous when I saw my long tail of hair lying on the floor, but actually I like my new look. My hair looks a lot thicker, healthier, and darker and seems much easier to manage. And anything that makes my life easier at the moment is more than welcome!

Good, Bad, Ugly

Note: Taking a page from Xin Lei's book...

Good: My appointment with Dr. M went well yesterday, and most likely I will be starting Follistim (the medication that stimulates ovaries to grow multiple eggs) on Monday, February 2nd with retrieval (removal of the eggs) projected for Friday, February 13th when AC will hopefully be here.

Bad: While walking through Central Park on my way to the appointment, I slipped and fell on a patch of ice and hurt my wrist.

Ugly: A trip to the NYU Hospital for Joint Diseases revealed that I've broken my wrist (first broken bone ever!) and will be in a cast for at least 6 weeks. Eek!