Week 14: With a whoosh and a gallop...

Today I am officially 14 weeks pregnant, solidly in the second trimester! It's hard to believe Ziggy has been inside me for 12 weeks now, making his/her home in there :) In honor of my 14 weeks, I decided to give the doppler another try this morning after reading some suggestions online. Other women recommended trying first thing in the morning before going to the bathroom, so the bladder would be full, which would push the uterus up. Supposedly raising the hips with pillows can also help. So, I did both, and something must have worked because amazingly I heard Ziggy's little heartbeat right away! Sometimes it sounded more like a whooshing sound, and sometimes like the clippoty-clop of a galloping horse's hooves. Either way, very cool!

I didn't have a stop watch, so I loosely tried to measure the heart rate using a digital clock. It was somewhere between 130 and 140 bpm, which is in the normal range of 120-160. Next time I listen I'll use AC's stopwatch to try to get a more accurate result. Luckily AC hadn't left for work yet so he got to listen as well. At some point, we should also try to record the heartbeat, so we can send it out to the rest of the family.

Anyway, it was such a huge relief to hear the heartbeat and know that Ziggy is still alive and well in there. I know I'm just being paranoid, but sometimes I really worry that something has happened to Ziggy. Even though it's been weeks and weeks since my single episode of bleeding, every time I go to the bathroom and wipe, I still expect to see blood on the paper, and breathe a sigh of relief when there's none. I wonder if all pregnant women feel this way.

In my case, I have always been extremely aware of the fragility of life before birth. Starting around the age of six, I saw my mother go through five miscarriages, the last one being a set of twins (first she lost one, and then the other). Well, I never literally see her miscarry, thank goodness, but I saw the aftermath. I distinctly remember her crawling into the closet and lying there crying while my step-dad stood by not knowing what to do. At the time I didn't understand what was going on, just that my mother was in pain. Later someone must have explained what had happened to me.

I figure that must be why I have such a fear of miscarriage. That and having to deal with the infertility, knowing that if we lose Ziggy, we can't just wait to get pregnant the old-fashioned way in a few months. Having another baby will mean going back to New York, back to Dr. M, back to another IVF cycle. It would be easier this time, since we already have the frozen embryos, but still, not something I want to have to do. Anyway, I didn't mean to turn this post into a downer, so I think I'll stop here. In the meantime, I am going to try to put aside my fears of losing Ziggy and just focus on this miracle of life that is happening inside me.

No More Progesterone

Just wanted to share the highlight of my day so far. Dr. W's nurse called to say I should stop the progesterone suppositories since my level is so high (well above 90). So that's it, I'm done! And I just ran out yesterday and was about to go to the pharmacy to pick up the refill when she called, so the timing was perfect. I'm stopping one week earlier than Dr. M would have liked, but given my high numbers, this seems like the right course of action. Yay to no more leakage and having to change my underwear several times a day (sorry if TMI)!

Week 11: In which I make the Acquantaince of Dr. W

A week ago today I had my first appointment with Dr. W, who seems really nice, knowledgeable, and pretty flexible. Even though he didn't agree that I needed to continue the progesterone suppositories and shots until 14 weeks (he says he usually discontinues progesterone supplementation at 10 weeks for his patients), he said I should continue whatever plan Dr. M laid out for me, since he was successful at getting and keeping me pregnant, and we don't want to mess with that. He also didn't agree with me being on Armour Thyroid, but again deferred to Dr. M on that. He did want to measure my level of TSH though, and when it came back low the next day, I was told to halve my dose from 90 mg to 45. I wonder what Dr. M would have to say about that! I'm sure he wouldn't be pleased, but at least they're letting me stay on the Armour Thyroid at all. I always felt like the dose was maybe a little high; plus, my plan is to taper the dose and get off the medication altogether by the time I give birth so I can safely breastfeed.

Hmmm, so what else happened at the visit? I urinated in a cup (not sure what they were measuring there), had my weight taken (up 4 lbs since the last time I was weighed at a doctor's office in November--I don't weight myself at home), had blood drawn, talked to Dr. W and his nurse about my Kartagener's Syndrome (they've actually had a patient like me before, and seem to know what it entails), and best of all, had an ultrasound. This was my first abdominal ultrasound, which was so much more comfortable than the vaginal ones. As soon as the ultrasound started, I saw little Ziggy jumping and bouncing around in my uterus! It was amazing! I didn't realize s/he was already moving so much--I wish I could feel it, but I guess that wont happen for a few more weeks at the earliest. I found the experience of seeing Ziggy moving a lot more powerful and emotional even than hearing the heart beat--it kind of hit me even harder that I really do have a baby inside me that's growing every day.

Anyway, Dr. W said it's a "beautiful baby," which I guess means everything looks good and is where it should be at this stage. He also said there's no sign of bleeding, so I guess it must have reabsorbed! Yay!!! He measured Ziggy three times to try to get a week 11 measurement (since I was exactly 11 weeks at the time), but kept coming up with 10w6d. So Ziggy was measuring a day behind, but Dr. W said it's not a big deal. Even so, I have been worrying about it a little and trying to make sure I eat every few hours. I read in one of my pregnancy books that babies get better nutrition and grow better when you eat frequently, rather than eating a few large meals a day. Plus, I find that I get hungry every few hours, so it seems to be working out.

Dr. W said I should return in 5 weeks when I'm 16 weeks, at which point we'll discuss doing a blood screen for chromosomal abnormalities, so my next appointment is on May 21. I really hope AC can make it, so he can see Ziggy dancing around too! I wanted him to be the there this time, but unfortunately he had a simulator :(

Before I end this post, I also want to update on the progesterone in oil situation. After stressing the whole weekend that I was going to miscarry because my progesterone would drop too low, on Monday I called to ask if they could measure my progesterone just to make sure the level wasn't dropping too low with me just being on the suppositories. The nurse told me that Dr. W didn't see the point in doing the blood test--basically what would we change if the numbers were low? I said I would go back on the shots if absolutely necessary. I also said that Dr. M had wanted my level measured a week after I stopped both forms of progesterone at week 14. She asked what the point of this was, and I told her that he would want me to continue the progesterone for the remainder of the pregnancy if my levels were below 20. This surprised her. She said they didn't have any patients on progesterone for the whole pregnancy, and that in general they no longer do progesterone monitoring since it had not proved clinically useful. She did say that Dr. W was willing to order the test for my peace of mind.

So I'm going in on Monday to have blood drawn, and they should have the results for me on Tuesday. I really hope my progesterone is at a decent level. I wonder if I can convince them to test me again at my next appointment after I discontinue the suppositories in two weeks. They probably already think I'm a difficult patient, but I don't care--better to be difficult than lose a baby, right? I tried to impress on his nurse how different it was to go from an infertility clinic, where you're seen every week and closely monitored, to a regular OB, where you're seen every 4-5 weeks, and they seem to take a much more blase attitude toward things. I also told her several times that the reason I was so insistent on careful monitoring is that if for some reason I lose this baby, I can't just get pregnant on my own in a few months like another women might. I'll have to do IVF all over again (well, fortunately the frozen embryos will make it easier), but it will still involve going back to NY and going through almost everything again. She seemed somewhat sympathetic, but I still got the sense that they view me as a drama queen or something.

Anyway, to end on a positive note, here are the week 12 sonogram pictures of Ziggy:

The Horror of Progesterone in Oil Injections

I've barely been able to walk for the past couple of days. Sitting down takes me about twice as long as it should, with me gingerly easing myself down onto the seat like an old lady (no offense to old ladies, of course, but at the age of 27, I don't really want to be moving like one!). Even lying down is painful, as I try to avoid the most tender spots on my backside, gently flipping from one side to the other to try to find any position that's remotely bearable.

So what exactly has gotten me in to such a pathetic state? It's those dang progesterone in oil shots that Andy has been injecting into my buttocks each evening. They have never been that pleasant, but at least in the beginning they were tolerable. At worse I would develop painful lumps on my butt, which are apparently either pockets of oil or scar tissue. But these past couple of weeks, the shots were getting increasingly uncomfortable with more blood, and it finally got to the point where my entire butt had become so swollen, painful, and slightly numb that I felt temporarily crippled.

Even though Dr. M wanted me to continue both the progesterone shots and suppositories until week 14, I couldn't stand it anymore, and when the nurse from my new doctor's office (Dr. W, who seems great, by the way--I'll post more about him and my first appointment later) called to report on my lab work, I begged her to let me stop the shots and just continue with the suppositories. She said she'd have to consult with someone on that and call me back. Thankfully, when she called, it was with good news--I could discontinue the shots!

My first reaction was relief, but then, being the obsessive worrier that I am, I started to wonder if maybe Dr. M had a good reason for keeping me on both forms of progesterone until week 14, and that maybe I was somehow putting myself at risk of miscarriage by stopping the shots so abruptly. From what I read online, the placenta takes over production of progesterone at about 10 weeks, and most doctors stop progesterone supplementation between 10-12 weeks (I'm 11.5 weeks now, so I fall safely into that range). Some stop it as early as 8, while others go for as long as 14. From my online research, it seems that a lot of women feel nervous about discontinuing the progesterone, and some continue to take it even after their doctor tells them to stop, often slowly tapering the dosage over several weeks. No one had lost a baby from coming off progesterone too soon, which was a relief. I started to calm down a bit, reasoning that I was still going to be on the suppositories until week 14.

But after going for one day without the shot, I started to feel panicky again and, can you believe it, voluntarily gave myself another shot, just to be safe! How crazy am I! I even had to stab myself twice because not all of the oil would go in the first time. AC had already told me the previous day that since I'd been given the okay to stop, he was done, he wasn't going to administer any more shots. Well, I can tell you, that is absolutely the last shot I am doing! After another day of hobbling around in horrible pain, I am done.

So, goodbye progesterone in oil! We'll probably meet again at some point (like when I have my next child), but that wont be for another few years, and hopefully by then my butt will have fully recovered from your pernicious attack!

Road Tripping

I should probably update on our road trip, so without further ado...
After our appointment with Dr. M. on Thursday, AC and I had a nice farewell lunch with SH and my dad. Things had been a bit strained with them since I moved out of their place and into the house in CT (living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment for several months together will do that to you!), so it was nice to have a sort of informal reconciliation.

Anyway, then we hit the road and drove to McGuire AFB where we had dinner with some Air Force friends. They were all really excited about the baby--one friend even gave us a funny card with a Target gift card included (she had seen Andy's announcement on Facebook). It felt weird not telling them the complete truth about the IVF and everything, especially when they asked questions like "How long have you known?" or "How did she break the news to you?" We just sort of glossed over those questions with vague answers.

Later though, when I got a chance to be alone with one friend who knew about my fertility struggles, she asked me if we ended up seeing a fertility doctor. So of course I told her. AC and I had decided in advance that we're not going to volunteer the info about the IVF, but if anyone asks questions that lead in that direction, we wont try to hide it. My friend asked me a lot of questions because she and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for 3 months, and she's worried they may need assistance since she's already 31. I tried to help her as much as I could by answering her questions and giving her advice--I know I would have loved to have someone do the same for me when I was in her position.

The next day, Friday, we drove to AC's hometown in Maryland and had lunch with one of his high school friends. I hate to admit it but I was relieved when work prevented AC's brother from being able to make it. As luck would have it though, I did end up seeing him before the weekend was up! We then continued on to Annapolis for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. After the dinner, we celebrated AC's oldest aunt's birthday as well as mine (we were both born on April 5!), and then AC ended up making the announcement about the baby. It was really cute how excited everyone got! I guess it's a big deal that our child will be the first of this next generation.

The next morning before the wedding we walked around the Naval Academy, which was beautiful--I think for once the military's architectural contract didn't go to the lowest bidder! :P The wedding was also really beautiful, although I was surprised at how traditional it was. The pastor said that the wife must submit to whatever the husband chooses for them and must always follow and obey him. It just seemed really old-fashioned. I haven't been to that many weddings, but this was definitely the first time I'd heard anything so, I hate to say it, misogynist spoken.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention it, but the biggest surprise at the wedding was that AC's mother and brother showed up even though they've said all along that they wouldn't come. AC was so angry when he first learned that his mother was there, but fortunately he didn't do anything rash. His mother was actually really nice to both of us. I can't say the same for his brother. He didn't say a single word to me the entire time, even though we sat at the same table later at the reception (later he did tell AC that he just felt like he didn't know what to say to me).

After the ceremony, we posed as a family for pictures, and AC's mother even placed her hand on my belly and asked AC if it was true about the baby. She then asked if we were taking the baby to Okinawa (this was all in Chinese of course, but AC translated). At one point she grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and then remarked how large my hands are (not in a mean way). I pointed out that my feet are also large, and she smiled. She also noted that I was very "white" or "bai", as she said in Chinese (AC said she meant pale). I'm so used to my mom saying this as a bad thing, as in, "You're so pale. You must be getting sick." But I know that Asians really value pale/fair skin, so maybe she meant it as a compliment? Either way, whether she was complimenting me or concerned about my health, she was definitely being nice and attentive.

AC and I later discussed what could have brought about the change. Is it really the baby that's made the difference? Is she just acting or playing a game as AC suspected at times? Has she just finally decided that it's not worth it to fight anymore? Has AC's brother's recent marriage to someone she considers even less suitable than me caused her to favor me? We're not really sure what's going on, but I was definitely relieved that at least a temporary reconciliation seems to have been established.

Overall, I had a really nice time at the wedding. It was fun to see all of AC's relatives again, especially since I hadn't seen most of them in almost three years since our wedding. Another of AC's cousins will be getting married next August, and I would love to go, but it's so hard to know if we'll be able to what with AC's irregular schedule and being in Okinawa. So far one of his cousins has married a white guy, and this cousin is marrying a white girl, which means our kid will have Hapa cousins (assuming they have children, of course)! I think that's so cool :) Two of AC's cousins are also Hapa (they're half Icelandic), so it's already a pretty diverse family.

Sunday and Monday were spent driving back to Little Rock--it was a really beautiful drive. Virginia is a gorgeous state, with lovely rolling green hills. Tennessee was also very pretty. We stayed Sunday night in Nashville, where it was unseasonably cold. AC drove the whole way (what a trooper) while we listened to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and I ate and napped frequently :)

Overall it was the best road trip we've had (says the girl who didn't drive an iota :)

Week 9 Belated Post

I apologize for disappearing for a while! It's been an eventful two weeks, to say the least. Thursday, April 2nd marked my final appointment with Dr. M, which was somewhat bittersweet. I felt like there wasn't a proper goodbye, like I didn't really have time to express my gratitude for everything he's done. I think I'll write a letter to him once the baby comes complete with photos, etc. I also didn't get a chance to say goodbye to everyone on the staff. It felt sort of incomplete to just disappear from there, but I guess that's how it normally works. I'd like to return with Ziggy in person at some point, so Dr. M. can meet the little person he helped create. What a cool job he has, helping make people's dreams come true :)

Anyway, I had the usual blood draw and ultrasound. The ultrasound showed Ziggy was measuring exactly 9 weeks, which is great, since I was exactly 9 weeks at the time. S/he is growing so fast! The heart rate was 146 bpm. The sonographer also said the umbilical cord is attaching "beautifully." Thankfully the area of bleeding had diminished (yay!), and Dr. M said I was good to go. He did say it was very important that I continue to take the Armoud Thyroid throughout my pregnancy, and that if my new doctor wanted to discontinue it, that I should find a new one. I really hope that's not the case!

Anyway, enough blabbing! I'm finally getting around to posting a photograph of Ziggy. I think it (I can't wait till I can say "he" or "she" instead of "it"!) looks like a little teddy bear, don't you?

PS: I also added week 7 and 8 sonogram images to the previous posts. Amazing how much change there's been! I can't wait to see what Ziggy looks like at week 11!

Week 8 Check-up

I'm still slowly recovering from the virus that knocked me off my feet more than a week ago, so I'll try to keep this short. On Friday, AC and I went in to Dr. M's for the weekly check-up, and we got to hear the heartbeat, which was amazing! It was very fast of course. The baby's also grown a ton, and is now about the size of a bean! We could see the head, the spine, even the little arm and leg buds (it was all pretty fuzzy, but the sonographer pointed it out). So Ziggy is healthy and growing as it should. Unfortunately the sonographer saw that there's still some bleeding in my uterus, although it's not affecting the baby at all. I asked why I hadn't had any spotting, and she said it was probably just getting reabsorbed. Dr. M didn't seem to think it was anything to worry about, but did say that if I pass a blood clot, I should have a sonogram done for my peace of mind. Since we'll be on the road from Thursday to Monday, Dr. M said to go to the nearest ER if it happens while we're traveling.

I have my last appointment with Dr. M on Thursday, and immediately after, we'll drive to McGuire AFB to have dinner with some friends and stay on base for the night. On Friday we'll drive to Maryland, possibly have lunch with AC's brother (who doesn't like me, so that should be interesting) and friend, and then go to AC's cousin's rehearsal and then rehearsal dinner. Saturday is his cousin's wedding, and then Sunday and Monday we spend driving back to Little Rock. It will be a busy few days. I hope I can handle it!

PS: I have added sonogram images of Ziggy at week 8!

Sick and Tired

Yesterday I had another scare at Dr. M's right before I was supposed to go for my ultrasound. I went to the bathroom to empty my bladder and some stuff fell out into the toilet. I wont go into the gross details of what it looked like, but suffice it to say that I thought this was it, the end, my baby was gone. I was unbelievably relieved when the ultrasound showed the baby completely healthy, heart beating away! It has started to separate from the yolk sac, and the sonographer said the umbilical cord will start forming this week. She said that the stuff that came out was a blood clot from the bleeding I had and probably some mucous as well. Dr. M said I should continue to take it easy but not be too concerned if I experience any more bleeding and only to call if the bleeding/cramping is worse or different than what I've experienced.

So I return in a week (Friday) for another ultrasound and blood test. It will be hard to wait a whole week to see my sweet little baby again. I'm just so scared that something will happen to Ziggy this week. Fortunately my bleeding has stopped, I have very little pain in my abdomen, and my progesterone is 38.4, so things are looking good. Unfortunately I seem to be getting sick; last night I was coughing more than usual and feeling especially tired and weak, and when I took my temperature, it was 100. After a rough night of shivering, sweating, coughing, and feeling in general sick, my temperature was 101.6 this morning. I don't know if I should take some Tylenol or just wait it out. From what I've read, it seems that a fever of 102 and above could possibly harm the baby. I guess I should probably call Dr. M's office just to be sure. Anyway, it seems like today will be a low-key day with lots of rest and fluids.

Week 7 Scare

On Tuesday I finally got to see Ziggy on the ultrasound! S/he look like a small bean curled around the round yolk sac. S/he's only 7.5 mm long, but already has a heart beat of 156 bpm! I could actually see the flickering/pulsing of the heart. My progesterone was measured at 37.7, so it's still increasing slightly. Dr. M said everything looked great and that I could stop taking the estrogen patches but should continue with the baby aspirin for another week. He also said that after seeing a good strong heartbeat, the miscarriage rate drops from 35% to just 5%. In another two weeks, it will drop to just 3%.

So I was really surprised and shocked when the next day things took a turn for the worse. I started to have some cramping really low in my belly. I also had pain that felt like hemorrhoid pain, so I thought maybe my hemorrhoid was acting up. Suddenly I felt some fluid gush out of my vagina, and when I looked in my underwear, I saw bright red blood! This completely freaked me out so I immediately called the nurses at Dr. M's office, who told me to come in immediately. Luckily my dad was staying with me in CT, so he could drive me into the city. The drive was excruciating! It helped to talk to AC, but I was still terrified the entire way there, imagining that I was miscarrying and that there wouldn't be any baby on the ultrasound this time.

The office was completely empty when I got there, which was a little eeire. They actually had to call the sonographer to come back because she'd already left for the day. She asked me what happened and then did the ultrasound, which to my immense relief showed little Ziggy and the heartbeat still there completely unharmed. She did find two small spots of bleeding in my uterus that fortunately were not close to the baby, and she said that this is relatively common in the first trimester. She did say it's possible I'll have some bleeding/spotting for the remainder of the first trimester. Dr. M came in looking very concerned and seemed greatly relieved to learn that the baby was fine. He said I should discontinue the baby aspirin. The sonographer told me to take it easy and rest with my feet up if I experienced any more cramping. I return tomorrow morning just to make sure everything is still ok.

Before I left the sonographer told me the baby is measuring at 6w4d and the due date is estimated to be November 7th, although yesterday I was really 6w6d (based on when fertilization took place). I was too overwhelmed by what had happened to ask what that meant, but maybe tomorrow I'll find out. I was planning on doing a week 7 post today, but now I'm not sure I really am at week 7. Anyway, I am still somewhat shaken by what happened. I dread going to the bathroom and seeing blood, and evey little pain or twinge in my abdomen makes me feel panicky. I can't wait till tomorrow to see that the baby is still ok. If they let me, I would probably go in everyday for an ultrasound! I know I need to relax and rest and just hope for the best. From what I've read, there's not much one can do to prevent a miscarriage, so there's really no need for me to obsess (although it's hard not to). I'm already doing everything I possibly can for the baby--taking my progesterone suppositiories three times a day, injecting myself with progesterone in oil every night, trying to stay off my feet and rest as much as possible--so I guess I should just calm down (easier said than done of course). I'll be back tomorrow with a (hopefullly) positive update.

PS: I've added week 7 ultrasound pics below.

AC's Eye and More Crazy Planning

Ac had his surgery yesterday, and is now at home in Little Rock recuperating on Percocet, which unfortunately makes him very nauseous and dizzy. He'd like to not take it, but I told him the pain would probably soon convince him otherwise. Can you believe AC was awake during the surgery! They numbed his eye, used some kind of device to keep his eye open, and then the doctor scraped away at it. She removed 75% of his epithelium, which shows just how damaged his cornea was. According to the doctor, a normal, healthy epithelium would remain intact. This just goes to show those stupid military docs that they were wrong--it wasn't going to heal on it's own. They really make me so mad sometimes!

But, anyway, the surgery's done, and supposedly there's a 95% success rate, so I really hope this does the trick for his eye. He goes back on Monday for a follow-up appointment. The healing process should take about two weeks, after which point I guess AC will join another class and get back to his training.

I can't wait to join him in Little Rock! Our crazy tentative plan for getting me there is as follows. AC's cousin is getting married in Maryland on April 4 (the day before my birthday :) and we both plan on attending. Since I should be released from Dr. M's care on March 31, the plan is that on Friday, April 3, I'll drive AC's car down to Maryland with all my stuff in it, pick AC up at the airport (he'll fly in from Little Rock), and then go check in at the Navy lodge where we'll be staying. On Sunday, after all the wedding festivities are over, we'll drive to the Philadelphia area to drop off the car with some military friends who really need a second car (okay, this part of the plan hasn't been confirmed yet--AC really needs to get in touch with said military friend to see if he still wants/needs the car and if that weekend would be a good time to drop it off). We'll then fly out of Philadelphia to Little Rock. Of course, if said military friend doesn't want/need the car, then I'll probably have to fly to Maryland and just leave AC's car here in CT. Honestly, I think I prefer the driving plan at this point. Air travel never does my sinuses, lungs, and ears any good, and it will be difficult to get all my stuff on to the plane, etc. with my bum wrist and the fact that I'm not supposed to lift anything too heavy, being pregnant and all. If I drive, I can have my grandparents help me load my stuff into the car and then AC can unload it on the other end. Anyway, I'll keep updating as I know more about the details.

More Good News

The cast is off! But more importantly the blood work today showed my progesterone level at 33.3 and my hCG at 6933! And best of all, I got to see the yolk sac on the ultrasound. It didn't look like much (just a black oval), but it was exactly where it's supposed to be in my uterus. Because of my increased risk of ectopic pregnancy (due to my PCD), Dr. M placed the embryo low in my uterus when he did the transfer so it wouldn't float back into the tubes. And it worked! Little Ziggy (that's what AC wants to call the baby until we know the gender :) is right where s/he's supposed to be! I return next Tuesday when we should be able to see the baby and hear the heartbeat! Dr. M says he'll release me in 3 weeks, maybe even sooner if everything looks good. The sonographer was surprised that my ovaries had already returned to their normal size, but I guess they bounced back fast because I didn't hyper-stimulate at all.

Even though originally I had planned on staying on the East Coast during the pregnancy because of the highly recommended MFM in New Haven, AC and I have decided that it's just too hard to be apart for so long, especially when I'm pregnant. So the new plan is for me join AC in Little Rock once Dr. M releases me and be followed by an MFM there. I've already started looking into some doctors there. Since AC's training has been delayed so much due to his eye, it looks like he'll be in Little Rock until July or August. Most likely I'll go with him to Albuquerque as well, where I'll deliver the baby in early November.

As for AC's eye, it's been acting up again (basically he's been on medical leave for over a month now), but at least the military doctors finally started to take it seriously and referred him to a corneal specialist. He's having eye surgery on Thursday and will be in pain (the same severity as when he first injured his eye) for about 5 days. At least he'll be given prescription pain killers. I wish I could be there to take care of him but Dr. M said definitely no flying until we see a good strong heartbeat.

Anyway, that's all the news for now. It's hard to believe I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant! Crazy!

Happy Update

Wonderful news! The blood test on Wednesday measured my Beta hCG at 1100 and my progesterone at 14! So it looks like I am out of the danger zone for now--phew, what a relief! Dr. M wants to see my progesterone go even higher so I started progesterone in oil shots on Thursday. They have to be injected into my gluteal muscle, which hurts a bit, but it's all worth it for baby :) While AC is here, he can administer the injections, but I'll have to do them myself once he leaves on Monday (that may be a bit tricky, especially with one arm in a cast!). My next appointment for both blood work and ultrasound is on Tuesday. I also get my cast off on that day. Yay! I also just wanted to mention that I am 5 weeks pregnant as of Thursday! Hard to believe, huh?! I will post pictures of my 5 week belly when I get a chance later this week. My plan is to take pictures and post them every week so we can all see how my belly grows.

Why Google Is Not Always a Good Thing

I had my followup blood test yesterday, and the good news is that my Beta hCG went from 165 on Saturday to 416 on Monday. The numbers are supposed to double every 48 hours or so, so this is a very good sign. Unfortunately my progesterone level is not so hot. It's still within normal limits, but it's on the low side; it dropped from 11 to 9.5 from Saturday to Monday. The lower end of normal is 9 but, according to the nurse, Dr. M likes to see at least 13 or 14 at this stage in the pregnancy. She said it was nothing to worry about, but that Dr. M wanted to switch me from Endometrin to regular progesterone suppositories, which are supposed to be stronger.

Despite the nurse's reassurance not to worry, being the worry wart that I am, I immediately started to google low and falling progesterone levels in pregnancy. Bad idea! From what I read, it seems that low (and especially falling) progesterone levels can be a sign that the pregnancy is doomed to miscarriage! :( Of course I also read some anecdotal stories of women who had had ridiculously low progesterone levels but went on to deliver healthy babies. I also read that vaginal progesterone like Endometrin usually doesn't show up in the blood tests as well as progesterone pills or shots because most of the progesterone is absorbed directly into the uterine lining where it needs to be rather than going into the blood stream. I really hope these new progesterone suppositories bring my level up. They're messier than the Endometrin, but if they work, it's all worth it. I go in tomorrow (Wednesday) for another blood test. Until then, I am going to try to relax and not stress too much (easier said than done, of course!). AC arrives tonight, and I can't wait to see him. I need him and his calming influence right now.

Knocked Up!

Ok, so I was bad, went against the advice of Dr. M's office, caved, and took a HPT test a day early (I just couldn't stand the suspense any longer), and....it was positive!!! I can't believe it! SH says to be "cautiously optimistic" since there's still a chance it could be a chemical pregnancy or end in miscarriage, but still, for right now, I am pregnant and sooo happy! :) I had my first twinge of nausea today when I got really hungry before lunch, which seems like a good sign. The other main symptom I'm having is that I'm ravenously hungry, and it seems like no matter how much I eat, I can't feel satiated. But I don't care, because as of yesterday, I am 4 weeks pregnant! It's so hard to believe that this is actually happening! I'm going in tomorrow for the official blood test. This is so exciting!

Transfer complete!

Currently there is a tiny little blastocyst floating around in my uterus, hopefully making itself at home and settling in for the next 9+ months! I had the transfer on Tuesday at around 9:30am. Seven of the eleven eggs that fertilized made it to the five day blastocyst stage, and since Dr. M. thought their quality was good enough, he decided to implant only one and save me the stress of having to consider reduction if he put in two and both embryos took. Of course the chance of getting pregnant with a single embryo transfer is lower than with two, but I think it was the best choice for me given my health concerns. I return to Dr. M's office on February 28th for a pregnancy test (crossing my fingers that it's positive!). Until then, I'll try to stay relaxed but keep my mind occupied so as not to go crazy from the anticipation! It's gonna be a looong week :)

PS: I've added an ultrasound image showing the embryo being placed in my uterus. See that tiny little dot? That's the baby! And this is the very first baby picture!

Tomorrow is...

the big day! Retrieval will be tomorrow, a day earlier than we expected, and I'm really happy because this means one less day of waiting! Luckily AC was able to change his plane ticket to fly in this evening rather than tomorrow morning so he (and his boys :) can be there. Even though I'm sad about his eye flaring up again, the injury is what's allowing him to arrive a day earlier than we'd planned. Every cloud has a silver lining, right? As for his eye, it seems to be healing well for now. Only time will tell if this is going to be a persistent problem.

Since I haven't posted in a few days, allow me to backtrack a bit. My appointment on Saturday with Dr. M was the same as the Thursday appointment. I had blood taken, they did a sonogram, and Dr. M told me everything was coming along nicely and that I should continue the same dose of the medications. He was still projecting a Friday or Saturday retrieval at that point. On Monday (after the usual blood and sonogram), he reduced the Follistim to 100 IU and said that retrieval might be Thursday, but we'd know for sure on Tuesday. Yesterday (Tuesday), I had a feeling the retrieval day would be moved up. Not be too graphic, but the flood gates had really opened up "down there" if you know what I mean! This wasn't any normal mid-cycle increase in cervical mucous; it was a deluge!

Anyway, Dr. M said it looks like I have 15 mature follicles ready to go and called in a prescription of Ovudrel for me, which I injected in my belly last night at exactly 10pm. The timing is important because retrieval needs to be done exactly 36 hours later. The actual procedure should only take a few minutes. AC and I will be going to Dr. M's at 8:15 am tomorrow, AC will do his thing (although we have frozen back-up sperm in case he, ahem, has performance anxiety!), I'll be put under anesthesia, they'll stick a giant needle in my vagina to extract the eggs (I'm glad I'll be asleep for that!), and then I'll wake up and go to the place we're subletting on the Upper East Side while the doctors do their magic in the lab.

I knew that AC and I would not be able to maintain our sanity if we stayed with my dad for an entire week (plus we want some privacy), so this past week I've been searching for a place to sublet on Craigslist and have even checked out a few in person. I finally managed to find an adorable and quite spacious studio apartment on the first floor of a doorman building on East 71st St. between 2nd and 3rd. The only downside is that we only have it until Tuesday at 2pm, so we'll have to spend two nights at my dad's before AC leaves next Thursday (February 19th), but I think we'll be able to survive for that short time.

Suffice it to say, I am so happy right now! And me, my bloated, distended belly, and my 15 mature follicles are so ready for tomorrow! More news later--until then, wish me luck!

Good and Bad News

This morning I took the bus to Dr. M's office (no more walking through central park for me after what happened last week!). The staff drew some blood, did an ultrasound, and then I met briefly with Dr. M, who reassured me that everything is looking good. When I asked him how many eggs he thinks we'll retrieve, he said it was too early to tell for certain, but thinks it should be more than ten (yay!). I'll continue the same dose of Follistim and Lupron tonight and tomorrow and then return on Saturday for another blood test and ultrasound. I also met briefly with the financial advisor, who informed me that the only thing we have to pay for is the $500.00 fee for the anesthesiologist on the day of the retrieval, which is nothing considering a normal IVF cycle is 10-20 grand!! So everything is going well in terms of the IVF. That's the good news.

Now for the bad news. Unfortunately I can't say everything is going well in terms of AC's eye. His recurrent corneal erosion has, well...recurred. He's been DNFed (placed on Do Not Fly status) for two weeks to allow the cornea to heal, but it may very well recurr again. He will automatically be dropped back a class, which in and of itself isn't a big deal, but if this turns into a chronic condition, AC may not be able to fly at all! He is pretty upset right now, as you can well imagine. :( I'm sorry to say we kind of had a fight on the phone just now about his eye and the quality of care he's receiving from the military doctors. I wont go into detail, but suffice it to say that a lot of our arguments about health and doctors is a direct result of our completely different upbringingings, attitudes, and experiences regarding the health care system. AC has another appointment with the doctors tomorrow, so hopefully there will be some good news to report. Until then, I'll try to sort out my conflicting feelings and make amends with my dear husband!

Lame Update

This will just be a quick update because I'm tired and my left wrist hurts (since now it has to do everything). Last night I took my first dose of Follistim 200 IU. Today I already felt a lot more emotional and on the verge of tears (but this could have more to do with my father driving me crazy than with the hormones!). Today I also had my appointment with the hand surgeon who saw me last week at the Hospital for Joint Diseases. He removed my splint, took some x-rays, and put a more permanent cast on my arm. It's a pretty blue color, and I can actually get it wet, although it will take 3 hours to dry, so I'm not sure how often I want to do that! I'm supposed to continue to rest and keep it elevated for a couple of days, but then I can start using that hand more. Of course my thumb is immobilized, which means I can't grasp anything, but I guess I can use my fingers a bit. I'll be back to see him in 5 weeks to have the cast removed. Other than that, there was the usual BS with the insurance, which I don't really feel like posting about. Right now I'm just tired, and my wrist hurts. Thank goodness tomorrow I don't have to go anywhere! I'mplanning on taking it easy and relaxing before my next appointment with Dr. M on Thursday.

The Case of the Missing Lupron

I woke up yesterday (as usual around 5am) in a panic, realizing the night before that we'd forgotten to give me my Lupron shot. Horrible visions of having to cancel the cycle swam before my eyes as I stood in shock, mindlessly repeating "OMG, what have I done?!" out loud. I pictured myself having to call Dr. M's office when it opened in a few hours to confess my awful blunder and dreaded the disappointment and blame I'd hear in the voices of his staff. I quickly got on the computer, conducted a few searches, and soon found out that missing one shot was not such a big deal. Plenty of other women had missed a dose and go on to continue their IVF cycles, many successfully conceiving, so I calmed down a bit. Thank goodness for the internet!

Then when SH woke up an hour or so later, I told her and she immediately gave me the shot, reassuring me that it really wasn't a big deal. In order to prevent this from ever happening again, I have started setting my alarm to go off at 9pm. I've also taken to keeping the Lupron box on my pillow--if that doesn't remind me, I don't know what will!

So, anyway, the crisis was averted, but I am kicking myself for having let this happen. I start the Follistim tomorrow, so it's imperative that I be on top of everything from now on. It's time to kick my butt into gear!

Good, Bad, Ugly

Note: Taking a page from Xin Lei's book...

Good: My appointment with Dr. M went well yesterday, and most likely I will be starting Follistim (the medication that stimulates ovaries to grow multiple eggs) on Monday, February 2nd with retrieval (removal of the eggs) projected for Friday, February 13th when AC will hopefully be here.

Bad: While walking through Central Park on my way to the appointment, I slipped and fell on a patch of ice and hurt my wrist.

Ugly: A trip to the NYU Hospital for Joint Diseases revealed that I've broken my wrist (first broken bone ever!) and will be in a cast for at least 6 weeks. Eek!