11/09/09: A Day I Will Never Forget

Ziggy was born on Monday, November 9, 2009 at 9:15 am after approximately 8 hours of labor, weighing 7 lbs 4 oz and measuring 20.5 inches long. Here is our birth story:

I woke up the morning of my scheduled induction (Sunday, November 8) at 8:45 am, got up to go to the bathroom, and felt a trickle of fluid run down both legs. This is it! I thought. My water broke on its own, and now I wont have to be induced! I called Labor & Delivery and they told me to come on in to be checked, although they said I didn't have to rush. So I took my time getting ready and showering, and finished packing up my hospital bag with AC. We arrived at L & D around noon and I was checked, but the doctor who saw me didn't think my water had broken. My cervix was now about 70% effaced, but not at all dilated, so the doctor suggested they just go ahead and admit me (since I was going to be admitted that evening at 7:30 pm anyway) and start the Cervidil (cervical ripener) early. I received the Cervidil at exactly 1:10 pm (it was basically like a tampon that the doctor inserts way up by your cervix) and was told my progress would be checked in 12 hours. The doctor also palpated my abdomen and estimated that Ziggy was about 7.5 lbs, which turned out to be very close to his actual birth weight.

AC and I spent the rest of the day just hanging out in my room watching downloaded shows on my laptop. I was feeling tired and lazy and thought it would be a good idea to store up energy for labor, so I didn't get up much other than to use the bathroom. With my IV pole and monitors it was easier to just stay in bed and relax.

At exactly 1:10 am, I experienced some painful pressure down below and almost like a popping sensation inside and suddenly felt a bunch of warm fluid gush onto the bed. At that moment I knew my water had broken for real, exactly 12 hours after administering the Cervidil! And, as promised, at that exact moment a doctor came in to check my cervix and confirmed that my water had indeed broken for real. I had also made progress and was now 90% effaced and 1 cm dilated, so I was ready to start the Pitocin and be induced. Fluid continued to gush out of me at periodic intervals, and I was amazed at how much there was and at how warm it was!

As I was lying in bed waiting for the doctor to return, the unexpected happened--I started to go into labor on my own! The breaking of my waters was apparently enough to initiate labor as I started to feel contractions, pressure, and pain almost immediately, first in my lower back and then radiating toward my lower belly. At first I thought the contractions wouldn't be too bad, but soon they started to get worse.

When my nurse came in with the bag of Pitocin to hook up to my IV line, I asked if it was too early to get an epidural. I felt silly getting an epidural at only 1 cm dilated, but I was also worried that once she administered the Pitocin, the contractions would be unmanageable, and I'd have to suffer through at least 45 minutes before the epidural kicked in. She seemed to think it would be fine to get it since I was already slightly dilated, so she called in anesthesiology, and they effortlessly placed the epidural (other than a slight pinch when they applied the initial anesthetic, I experienced no pain or discomfort). The anesthesiologists said the anatomy of my back made it really easy to place (I'm assuming they were referring to how prominent my vertebrae are) and that I did a great job of curling over for the procedure. I must admit, after my extremely positive experience with the epidural, I don't know why all women don't get them--they are amazing!

My nurse said that since I was already having fairly regular contractions, I didn't really need the Pitocin. But because I had received the epidural so early, there was a chance it could slow down my contractions and stall the labor, so the doctor had decided to administer a very low dose of the Pitocin. Pretty soon, the epidural started to take effect, the contractions felt weaker and shorter, and I could feel my legs growing heavy--I actually found it to be a very pleasant sensation. It made me want to sleep, so I spent the next several hours dozing in and out as my nurse came in periodically to monitor me and Ziggy. Sometimes she had me flip from one side to the other to see if Ziggy "liked that side better." At one point she came in to turn off the very low dose of Pitocin because my contractions were plenty strong on their own and they were worried the Pitocin could effect Ziggy's heart rate negatively. She also placed an oxygen mask on me. At that point I was rechecked and was now nearly 100% effaced, 4-5 centimeters dilated, and at -1 station. The nurse also placed a catheter to drain my urine since I wasn't allowed to get out of bed to go to the bathroom (although I think I probably could have if someone had helped me), and she said that emptying my bladder would help the labor progress even more since it would give the baby room to move down.

How right she was! I don't remember exactly what time it was, but within just a couple of hours I started to feel increased pressure in my vagina--I had continued to feel the occasional mild pain of the contractions throughout the labor because I had never upped the very low dose of the epidural via the patient administered pump, but this felt different. Another doctor checked me and seemed surprised that I was now 100% effaced, 9 centimeters dilated, and at 0 station! My labor was progressing faster than anticipated. It was almost time to push!

This was definitely the worst part of the labor for me. I was feeling really intense pressure and pain in my vagina even with the epidural, so I finally gave in and pushed my patient administered pump three times (the maximum allowed per hour). I don't really know why I was trying to hold out on pushing it. I think I was partially worried that adding more medicine to the epidural might prevent me from pushing effectively. When the doctor rechecked me next, I was 10 centimeters and +1 station, but she said she still wanted to wait until I felt the urge to push on my own (despite the intense pressure, I didn't want to push--I just wanted the pain to stop). At some point around this time, the doctor decided to switch from an external monitor for Ziggy's heart rate to an internal one placed on his scalp. She also decided to add a very small amount of Pitocin to my line since my contractions were starting to weaken (so maybe I was right about not wanting to push the epidural pump?).

And then all of a sudden, it was time. I wanted to bear down, and my mom and AC held my legs for me while my two new labor nurses (there was a shift change right before I started to push) guided me and stretched my perineum. They had me take a deep breath, hold it, and then bear down for 10 seconds as I tucked my chin to my chest, held the backs of my legs, and curled my back over. I did this about three times during each contraction. It was exhausting! I was worried my lungs wouldn't be able to handle simultaneously holding my breath and exerting myself that much, but it turned out my fears were unwarranted. I also only coughed a little bit--I think the oxygen really helped.

Although I pushed for about 1.5 hours, time seemed to move much faster for me. I was in a strange mind frame, feeling both very present and aware of everything going on around me and also outside of my body at the same time. At one point, I reached down and could feel Ziggy's little head sticking out! It was a lot softer than I expected, and everyone marveled at how much hair he had. Everyone was very supportive, telling me what a great job I was doing and that I was getting really close, that he was almost out. AC was especially amazing, somehow anticipating exactly what I needed and doing everything I wanted without me having to ask. My mom also did a good job, although she kept holding her breath along with me during the pushing and almost passed out from lack of oxygen! I remember I got annoyed with her for being slow right at the start of a contraction when I needed to push and physically shoved her aside--later I felt very guilty for doing that, but in the heat of the moment, I was like an animal, just reacting on instinct and doing what felt right at the time. There was no rational thought involved.

Just when it seemed like I couldn't stand to push any longer, the nurses decided it really was time and called the doctor in. They told me I might feel a burning sensation as the baby crowned and came out, but that it would be better to just push through it than to hold back from fear and have him retract back up the birth canal. So that's what I did. I just pushed through the pain. It hurt like crazy, and at that point I almost started to cry (it was more like a pathetic whimper or whine, really), but I just kept pushing, even though it felt wrong to do so, like my body was going to rip open. And then with another gush of fluid, he was out, and they were placing him on my chest, and AC was cutting the cord! It was so surreal! I don't know how to describe it. I felt relief that the pain and exertion were over, amazement that this little creature had come out of me, awe at his beauty, and joy that he was finally here and that he was apparently healthy and perfect (his Apgar scores were 8 and 9, by the way). He let out a cry, and I was surprised by how high-pitched and shrieky it was. But when they placed him in my arms, he settled down and became very alert, looking all around at his brand new world.

I held him for a bit while the doctor delivered the placenta (I never got to see it in person, but AC did snap a picture which I saw later, and wow, it was huge!) and then stitched me up (I had a bit of second degree tearing in my vagina, mainly on the right side, but the doctor said it wasn't too bad). The nurses also massaged my uterus, and I could feel more fluid coming out each time they pushed on my belly. I don't know if they were just being nice or if they really meant it, but both the doctor and the nurses seemed impressed with how quickly I pushed him out and how strong I was and asked if I did yoga, to which I said yes. They seemed to think that it must have helped. I guess maybe it did!

Then the nurses weighed and measured Ziggy, put antibiotic ointment in his eyes, and did whatever else they needed to do before returning him to me. I put him to my breast right away, but I don't think he latched on at that point. It was just nice to hold him close and feel his little body against mine. After holding him for a bit, it was time for AC to accompany him to the Well Baby Nursery to receive his first bath and have other necessary things done to him while I was taken to my private (woohoo!) recovery room, where I would stay for the next two days.

It's funny--I didn't write a birth plan, I didn't really think about how I wanted my childbirth experience to go at all (other than that I knew I wanted an epidural), and yet, it turned out to be exactly how I would have wanted it had I known what to plan for. Even the fact that I tore doesn't bother me--to me, it's just a battle scar, proof that I did something amazing, namely deliver a baby that I grew for 9 months inside me!