Now I've never been a good cook, but I used to enjoy it. I used to spend hours searching for recipes online, bookmarking my favorites, creating meal plans and shopping lists, and I really enjoyed doing it. I loved the feeling of accomplishment when the end result was edible or, gasp, even good! I felt like I was slowly but surely learning my way around a kitchen, learning how to do things more efficiently, learning how to substitute effectively when I was missing an ingredient, learning at least a few good but easy recipes by heart that I could rely on in a pinch.
But now all that is gone, hopefully only temporarily. Not only am I bored and frustrated with cooking, but I'm bored and frustrated with food in general. For the most part, since I've been pregnant, food has tasted really good to me, better even than before I was pregnant, but now I'm starting to feel like I've eaten everything a million times already, that I'm sick of all of my tried and true meal and snack ideas. Basically, I feel like I'm in a cooking/eating rut, which I think can be attributed to the following factors:
All of our kitchen supplies are in storage in Corpus Christi, TX, so we've been having to make do with the few items we received from the loaner closet at the Airmen and Family Readiness Center. You're only supposed to keep items for a month, but we haven't heard anything about returning them, so we plan to keep it all until we leave. It's hard to cook when the only supplies you have to work with are 1 frying pan (with a lid that's too small), 1 small pot with lid, 1 small glass baking dish, 1 colander, 1 can opener, 1 vegetable peeler, a set of measuring spoons, a large plastic slotted spoon, a plastic pasta utensil thingie (don't know what they're called), a spatula, and of course plates, bowls, cups, glasses, and utensils. We finally bought a new knife set because our old one was stolen from the storage unit in Corpus Christi, so now we at least have that (no more trying to chop things with the steak knives they loaned us!). I'm sure there are some people who are such good, versatile cooks that they could whip up something fabulous even with this paltry setup, but I find it's hard even just to boil some pasta, since neither the frying pan nor the small pot are really up for the job. Our only saving grace is that we brought our electric griddle (best purchase we ever made, and only $20 too!), which we use daily, sometimes multiple times a day.
It's gotten really hot and humid here, and cooking when it's hot is not fun. I've basically made it a rule not to use the oven so as to avoid heating up the apartment. Even using the electric range produces a lot of heat. In general, cooking hot food indoors during the summer is not my idea of a good time.
AC's new martial arts hobby (Cuong Nhu) means that he leaves for his evening class (Monday-Thursday) right around when we would normally eat dinner (6:30pm). And since he's going to be exercising, he doesn't want to eat a lot. In fact, he often doesn't eat a real dinner, but just grabs a protein bar instead. Although this has helped him lose some weight (a good thing), it has not helped motivate my cooking. I tend to do my best cooking when I have an audience. When I'm just cooking for myself, I don't feel like putting much effort into meal preparation. Plus, it's kind of sad to eat by oneself. Sometimes I try to prepare dinner early so we can eat before his class, but it doesn't always work out.
Whenever I look at recipes to try to get inspired, I find that they're overly complicated, requiring too many ingredients (of which I'll only use a little, and then be stuck with a whole bottle or jar of something) and too much equipment (a food processor, for example).
Since we're not going to be here for much longer, I'm trying to limit the amount of "pantry" or "fridge door" items we buy, so as not to have too much food that we either have to throw away or drag with us to New Mexico. We still have some dried goods in storage in Corpus Christi, and I am already starting to think that a lot of that stuff will end up being tossed before we leave for Japan (unless we can ship dry goods overseas along with the rest of our stuff--that would be nice).
We spend way too much money on food as it is, so I feel restricted when trying to follow recipes or spice up our meal plans. Is it just me, or has food gotten a lot more expensive recently? Add to that the fact that, especially since I've been pregnant, I've tried to eat organically as much as possible, especially when it comes to the dirty dozen. Well, organic food is a lot more expensive than conventional food in general, and I can only find certain organic products at Whole Foods, which is pretty pricey. To me it's worth it, but it does mean that even after only buying the basics, our food bill is really high for just two people. I try to buy as much stuff as I can at the commissary because it's generally cheaper (although not always--for example, organic milk is actually cheaper at Whole Foods). Then I buy some specialty items and organics that I can't get elsewhere at Whole Foods. Lastly I try to shop at the two farmer's markets to get fresh, local produce, which is often grown organically, even if not certified organic (farmers actually have to pay a fee for the certification, so sometimes they wont do that, even though they do use organic farming methods). We live about 30 minutes from the commissary, about 20-25 minutes from Whole Foods, and only a few minutes from the farmer's markets, which are open on Tuesdays and Saturdays. I've been finding it difficult to juggle all of these various places where I shop for food. If I forget to buy something at the commissary or Whole Foods, it's not practical to drive all the way back just to get it. The farmer's market can be unpredictable in terms of what they sell. Sometimes I'll go there expecting to buy a particular item, and it will be sold out, or they simply wont have it that week.
I've simply gotten out of the habit of cooking. As I've mentioned before in a previous post, I haven't cooked regularly since November of last year. Being in NYC for several months spoiled me, since I got used to eating out or getting take-out all the time (SH was footing the bill--otherwise I definitely couldn't afford that lifestyle!). When I was in CT, I did some cooking myself, but my grandparents also came and made a lot of stuff for me. So, basically, I think I've been overly spoiled.
AC doesn't encourage me to cook. I know some women who hate cooking but do it anyway because their husbands demand it. I'm not saying I want AC to do that, but there's not much motivation to cook when he says, "Oh, don't worry about me. Just make something for yourself. I'll just grab a protein bar or make a sausage."
For the first time in my life, I feel restricted as a vegetarian, especially with regard to protein choices. I have no desire or plan to eat meat, but I do feel like a lot of times I don't know what to eat. Part of this is due to the fact that I probably read way too much about diet, health, and nutrition, and food starts to seem scary. Fish and seafood are good for you, but only in moderation, due to high levels of mercury and PCBs. Pregnant women especially need to be wary of seafood high in mercury, and should limit their consumption to about 12 oz per week. So products are a good source of vegetarian protein, but it's not good to eat too much soy (especially processed soy products) due to its high levels of phytoestrogens, especially if you have a family history of breast cancer (which I do). Dairy products are another good source of vegetarian protein, but supposedly excessive consumption of dairy can lead to overproduction of mucous (yeah, like I need more mucous!) and congestion. I'm still not sure if dairy has this effect on me. I tend to be congested and mucousy anyway, especially now that I'm pregnant, so its hard to tell. Dairy is hard to digest though, and can cause gassiness, so there's yet another reason not to overdo it. Beans are a great source of protein, fiber, and other nutrients, but they can also cause intestinal discomfort and gas. Plus, the lining of canned foods apparently contains BPA (except for Eden Organics brand, which are more expensive, of course). I would use dry beans and cook them myself if we had the right equipment and it wasn't so hot (this would save money too), but sadly I don't. Eggs are a great source of protein, but high in cholesterol, and therefore can't be eaten in unlimited quantities (although I've read that this doesn't really apply to pregnant women, since pregnancy hormones confer protection against the harmful effects of cholesterol). Anyway, it's enough to make an already obsessive girl go crazy!
I really hope that once we're settled in Japan, I'll start to relearn how to cook, and more importantly, start to enjoy it again. Of course, I'll have Ziggy then, which may make meal preparation more difficult, but I'm hoping that I can get something of a routine down once we're there. I don't aspire to be a great, gourmet cook or anything, but I would like to be able to prepare simple, nutritious, and varied meals for my family without it being too much of a chore or hassle (which is what it feels like now).
I know this post probably comes off as whiny and spoiled, and it is. I know how lucky I am to have the privilege of being "bored" with food. There are still many people in the world who are grateful to have anything to eat, much less a varied and tasty diet. As I've said before to AC, "When you're starving, pretty much anything tastes good!"
file purging
10 years ago
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